Humor
/Entertainment
Joining The Army
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's office.
There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. "Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one. "You didn't really ...Read more
Water in the Carburetor
WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
WIFE: "In the pool."
Magic of the Internet
My friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access Google, and we told her it could answer any question she had.
Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom.
"Think of something to ask it." As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's ...Read more
Little Rabbit FooFoo
One day, Little Rabbit FooFoo was hopping through the forest, snatching all the mice, and bonking them on the head.
A good fairy appeared. "Little Rabbit FooFoo, what you're doing is evil! Stop it, or Mother Nature will turn you into something gooney!" she said.
Little Rabbit FooFoo just laughed and laughed.
The next day, Little Rabbit FooFoo...Read more
For The Kids...
What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day?
Turns over a new leaf!
What is the definition of a caterpillar?
A worm in a fur coat!
What has stripes and pulls a tractor?
A caterpillar tractor!
What does a cat go to sleep on?
A caterpillow!
What's green and dangerous?
A caterpillar with a machine gun!
What pillar...Read more
Linus Sebastian Shows Jimmy and Bad Bunny Some Mind-Blowing Technology (Extended) | The Tonight Show
Linus Sebastian talks about creating tech videos for almost 20 years and attending the biggest electronic show in the world, CES, before showing Jimmy and Bad Bunny some cutting-edge technological inventions.
Aidy Bryant Wants Her Next Role to Be a Sexual Drug Addict
Aidy Bryant talks about what she's looking for in her next role, getting humbled by a HOKA salesperson and taking improv classes at night while studying at Columbia College Chicago.
Gabriel Basso Shares His Favorite Clint Eastwood Interaction, Talks The Night Agent Skydiving Stunt
Gabriel Basso talks about being directed by Clint Eastwood in the film Juror #2, making his own home movies as a kid and doing his own stunts for Season 2 of The Night Agent.
Acclaimed actor Betty Gilpin tells Stephen about training for her role in the new series, "American Primeval"
Acclaimed actor Betty Gilpin tells Stephen about training for her role in the new series, "American Primeval," set in the American West in 1857. "American Primeval" is streaming now on Netflix.
Cameron Diaz And Jamie Foxx Are Back In Action | The Graham Norton Show
#CameronDiaz and #JamieFoxx take our sofa by storm before their much anticipated movie reunion in #BackInAction!
Pete Hegseth: Overserved with Honor | The Daily Showography
From humble Midwest beginnings to a dishonorable discharge from the army to landing his perfect job as a Fox News personality, Trump's Secretary of Defense nominee is ready to fight... for his right... to party. This is the Daily Showography of Pete Hegseth.
Meanwhile... Chuck E. Cheese Returns | No Donuts At Dunkin' | Mosh Pit Diaper | 25-Cent Burgers
Meanwhile... Chuck E. Cheese restaurants are ditching the animatronic band, some Dunkin' locations ran out of donuts, a new product will help you pee at concerts without using the bathroom, and Wendy's is offering burgers for a quarter, but there's a catch.
Amber Says What: New Jersey Drones, Beyoncé's Halftime Show
Late Night writer Amber Ruffin recaps what's happening in pop culture news.
Bill Burr on People Online Commenting on the LA Fires & Getting in Touch with His Emotions
Bill talks about having to evacuate his home during the fires, people commenting on how it all started and giving their opinions online, knowing how to fly a helicopter, how he reacts in an emergency situation, getting in touch with his emotions, friends from the east coast checking in on him, the type of shows and movies he watches with his ...Read more
Any Answer Wins: Loudest Animal on Earth, Microsoft Co-Founder | The Tonight Show
Two audience members compete against each other in a trivia game where Jimmy asks them random questions and there are no wrong answers.
Two Fingers
On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."
A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"
The Buffalo Theory
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much ...Read more
Acts
A woman went into her kitchen to find a burglar loaded down with a bunch of stuff he was stealing from her kitchen. Not having any kind of weapon to scare him off, she raised her hand and said "Acts 2:38," and proceeded to quote scripture.
The burglar froze in place and didn't move. The woman called 911; the police arrived and were amazed to ...Read more
Broken
On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: "Broken."
A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building.
"What are you doing?"...Read more
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