Matthew T. Hall: The Trump administration srsly texted war plans like in a group chat? Exploding head emoji
Published in Op Eds
The world found out shortly after noon eastern time on March 24 that the United States’ March 15 bombing of Houthi targets across Yemen had been discussed just before it happened on the private messaging platform Signal among U.S. national security officials. Jeffrey Goldberg, a journalist from The Atlantic magazine, had been inadvertently added to the chat.
Goldberg’s shocking revelations have stirred up a hornets’ nest of questions in Washington, D.C.: Is this how top-secret military strikes are planned? What other information is shared this way? Were any laws broken? Who else was listening in? Who communicates in group chats?
I know the answer to that last question, at least: every family with a text thread or WhatsApp group or, I guess, Signal chat. In fact, more conversations should be conducted so efficiently. Just not all of them.
Do we really want security officials planning bombing strikes this way?
For comparison’s sake, here is a recent text thread from my family. Not really, but I do hope this shows that there are certain conversations to have with emojis and abbreviations — and others to have on secure lines of communication where nothing is left to chance, error or malice.
With apologies to Jeffrey Goldberg, and gratitude for his reporting....
Thursday, March 13 at 4:28 p.m.
Dad: Team — establishing a principles [sic] group for coordination on dinner plans, particularly for over the next 72 hours. I am pulling together a tiger team following up from the meeting where we discussed dissatisfaction with the last meal I cooked to determine dinner options for the weekend. Pls provide what you’d like me to get for Saturday and Sunday dinner. Thx.
MOM: How about steak and salad? And burgers and broccoli?
MH: [Face vomiting emoji] How about pizza … and pizza?
EH: Duke’s Pad Thai please.
Friday, March 14 at 8:05 a.m.
Dad: Team, you should have a statement of conclusions this morning in your high side inboxes. MOM, I developed suggested menu lists for Publix and Food Lion with steak, salad, burgers and broccoli. But our children are sending this am a more specific list of items and we will work with M and E to ensure food actually gets in their bellies instead of being moved around their plates.
MOM: Team, I am out for the morning getting coffee at Drip (or looking for parking, really) in Five Points. But I think we are making a mistake. I really wanted steak and salad Saturday and burgers and broccoli Sunday. 3 percent of our family meals involve vegetables. 40 percent of other families’ meals do. There is a real risk that we develop scurvy from not eating enough greens. The strongest reason to eat them, as pediatricians know, is good health. Teenagers may not like salad, but they should try it once in a while. I am willing to have some dessert. But there is a strong argument for delaying that dessert if the children do not eat their salads.
MH: There is nothing time sensitive about our salad resistance. We have our whole lives to eat salad.
EH: MOM, I understand your concerns — and fully support properly cooked broccoli. But Dad tends to overcook the broccoli, and that’s just gross. I think messaging is going to be tough no matter what — nobody in this family knows what perfectly cooked broccoli tastes like. Which is why we need to stay focused on: 1) Dad is a terrible cook & 2) Duke’s Pad Thai. Waiting until we’re older to cook it ourselves will not fundamentally change the calculus: Dad can’t cook. Getting takeout just makes the most sense. I welcome other thoughts.
Dad: Whether it’s now or next week, you will not be getting your allowance. Per discussions with MOM in another text thread, we have decided to withhold your allowance until you apologize. Dad can cook. Dad cooks. Let him cook.
MH: i’m good with takeout. I cannot with Dad’s broccoli.
MOM: Girls, I fully share your loathing of Dad’s broccoli. It’s PATHETIC. But Dad is correct. You won’t get your allowance until you apologize. And with costs up, going to the grocery store makes more sense than eating out. This isn’t even close. Question is timing. I’m still circling Drip, dreaming of finally getting that coffee. I feel like now is as good a time as any, given traffic patterns, to just give up. But I don’t want to go; I still retain hope that a spot will open up.
Dad: As I heard it, MOM was clear: green light on coffee, red light on broccoli. But M and E, this is what we expect in return: You clean up the table and wash the dishes. We also need to figure out how not to badmouth Dad’s cooking anymore. If not broccoli, how about lima beans? If E successfully apologizes, she can expect further economic gain in return.
MOM: Agree.
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Matthew T. Hall has been the South Carolina opinion editor since April 2024 and a journalist for 30 years.
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