Commentary: Parents must be mindful of what they say about the election around kids

The day after the presidential election, I walked into my school building, and before I could enter my office, a student, who arrived very early, asked me the following question: “Dr. McNair, is slavery coming back?” I was stunned by the question, and didn’t quite know how to immediately answer it. After all, the student was 10 years old.

Giving a history lesson about the 13th Amendment to the United States Constitution that abolished slavery and granted civil rights to African Americans in 1865 was not the answer she was seeking. She wanted assurance that everything was going to be all right in her life. That the election of President Donald Trump did not mean Black people and other minorities were going to be relegated to second-class citizenship status. All of this was going through my mind while I looked at her as she waited for a response. I said, “No, slavery is not coming back. Don’t you ever worry about that. You are going to continue to do well.” I reassured her that everything was OK and then said it was time for her to go to class.

As I thought about that interaction throughout the day, it more than bothered me that someone had put that thought into her fragile and impressionable mind. The following day I heard two more students talking about slavery as they were standing in line to get breakfast. Once again, I reassured them that slavery was not coming back.

As I grappled with these conversations, I thought about having a school assembly to talk about this issue. In this toxic political climate, I realized that would not be a good idea. Perhaps the conversation would be misinterpreted or venture in a direction that would be hard to control. But I still wonder how many of our youth share this belief. And who is giving them this misinformation?

Parents and guardians must be mindful of what they say about the presidential election in front of their children. There was a time when adults would often tell their children to leave the room when having an adult conversation. Or they would simply wait until the children went to bed to discuss certain matters. They recognized that children can’t always distinguish between hyperbole or an understatement, including between what is true or false or simply an embellishment.

Regardless of who we as adults vote for, there should be ground rules established in how we engage our youth and explain why a certain candidate is preferred over another. When we use insulting language, it can be confusing for youth. They are left to think less about the rule of law, our system of government, and the importance of our Constitution.

Our nation’s 16th president, Abraham Lincoln, once said, “Democracy is government of, by and for the people.” It’s the people that impact our democracy the most. They, after all, vote for elected officials. When we forget to tell the future generation about that reality, we not only weaken our democracy, but we can also turn them off from believing in our system of government. While it’s not perfect, it is still the envy of the world. The United States Constitution is a living document. It can be amended when the people act. America is a representative form of government. Not educating our youth on these facts does a disservice to them and can lead to apathy.

Researchers often lament the impact that voter apathy has on our electoral process. Data from the Center for Information and Research on Civic Learning and Engagement at Tufts revealed that only 42% of those aged 18 to 29 voted in the 2024 election. While apathy doesn’t tell the entire story, it plays a role, particularly if parents are giving information that may be filled with emotion and rhetoric.

That’s not an indictment of parents and caregivers; it’s simply a reminder that what we as adults say and do matters. I saw that up close, when the topic of slavery was bandied about by youths who had not lived more than a decade. For them to think something as gruesome and illegal as slavery could be instituted means we have a lot of work to do.

So, when our youth ask us to explain the presidential election results, or any election for that matter, it’s necessary to take the time to explain how our democracy works and say less about our dislike toward a particular candidate, no matter who it is. It provides a better and deeper understanding of our democracy when using this approach. Let them know that the soul of our nation is defined by we the people. We speak through voting.

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Jerald McNair has a doctorate degree in education and a graduate degree in public policy. He is a school administrator in South Holland School District 151.

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