Nolan Finley: Trump's Bibles bring NIL scheme to politics

Bible salesmen are synonymous in American culture with hucksterism.

Plying the country’s backroads, the charismatic con men of literature prey on the gullibility of the faithful with insincere pitches for an overpriced product their targets can ill afford.

Donald Trump is bringing those predatory characters to life. The former president, always oblivious to irony, is hawking $60 Trump Bibles in collaboration with country singer Lee Greenwood, whose “God Bless the USA” is Trump’s campaign theme song.

Leather-bound versions of Trump’s Good Book contain handwritten lyrics to Greenwood’s song, as well as copies of the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution and the Pledge of Allegiance. The book features an embossed cover and is printed in large type, a concession to the advancing age of his most ardent supporters.

In a Truth Social video, Trump declares, “All Americans need a Bible in their home, and I have many. It’s my favorite book. ... We must make America pray again.” The marketing message also boasts this is “the only Bible endorsed by President Trump!” King James must be rolling over in his sarcophagus.

Trump has brought the name, image and likeness (NIL) scheme from the college athletic arenas to the campaign trail. The Trump Bible is just one of several items the politician/pitchman is touting as he tries to raise cash for his presidential campaign and to pay down his enormous legal bills.

Also available in the Trump product line are gold-colored high-top sneakers for $400, a series of coins ranging from copper to gold bearing his face and patriotic backdrops, digital trading cards and watches with price tags of up to $100,000.

I couldn’t find out whether Trump was reaping any benefit from former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee’s “The Kid’s Guide to President Trump,” designed to “help your kids learn the truth about President Trump and celebrate America,” or from the blond-maned Trumpy Bear featured in the TV commercials, or the Trumpy Trout talking fish.

Fortunately for him, Trump is not cursed with self-awareness. Elsewise he’d recognize how perfectly he’s playing into the stereotype of a New York City real estate flimflam artist fleecing his adoring supporters of their money and their votes.

I’ll admit to having in my closet a very nice Trump signature necktie I was gifted years before Trump was a thing. It’s extra-long and I’ve been saving it to hang myself with should America’s political landscape become any more hopeless.

In the film “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” Big Dan the Bible salesman, just before he robs the rubes and bashes them in their heads, advises them the key to “making money in the Lord’s service” is finding a wholesaler. Trump has — he’s importing his Bibles from China at three bucks a copy, for a mark-up of $57. Better get one now; should Trump win and impose the steep tariffs he promises on China, the price will go way up.

Writing about the Bibles, the Associated Press, with its typical sanctimony, points out the obvious, noting Trump has lived a life that “often seemed at odds with teachings espoused by Christ in the Gospels.”

Well, that’s some heavy-duty fact-checking. This isn’t about setting the nation on a more moral course. Again, quoting Big Dan: “It’s about the money, boys. It’s about the gol-danged money.”

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