ArcaMax

PARIS — Washington says that it had nothing to do with the latest alleged coup attempt over the weekend in Venezuela.

Cue the laugh track.

“Any claims of US involvement in a plot to overthrow Maduro are categorically false. The United States continues to support a democratic solution to the crisis in Venezuela,” a State Department spokesperson told CNN in response to Venezuela’s allegations that a Navy SEAL, two other Americans, a Czech citizen, and two Spanish nationals had been arrested and 400 American rifles seized in what Caracas described as the latest attempt to “destabilize” the country.

Guys, come on — you literally have a page up on your State Department official website, headlined, “Nicolas Maduro Moros — New Target”, detailing that you’re “offering a REWARD OF UP TO $15 MILLION[emphasis theirs] for information leading to the arrest and/or conviction” of the Venezuelan president.

Is that what you mean by “democratic solution”? It’s kind of like putting up posters advertising a “good time” with someone’s address, and then saying that you had nothing to do with all the creeps who made a beeline to their front door.

There’s been no lack of chancers whose passion for democracy just happens to selectively align with the cash windfall offered by Uncle Sam. Barely a month after the Maduro bounty offer debuted, two Americans working in “ private security”, including a Green Beret with connections to then-President Donald Trump’s entourage mounted a similar failed plot against Maduro.

They had reportedly also met with US-handpicked puppet-in-waiting, Juan Guaido, routinely (and super democratically) called the “acting president” by the collective West as though Maduro didn’t even exist.

That particular attempt involved a bunch of Venezuela army deserters, with the Associated Press reporting at the time that they had been trained next door in Colombia.

You know, the same US-allied country that’s long been synonymous with drug and weapons trafficking, and narco-terrorism. Oxford researchers have pegged Colombia’s drug trade at 2 percent of its entire GDP.

And it’s not like a study is even required to qualify just how easy it must be for weapons to flow into the country when hundreds of them end up being seized in each of these busted raid plots. But apparently that’s just fine, as long as you’re batting for the right team, unlike Maduro, whose top allies just happen to be Russia, China, Iran, Syria, and Cuba. Not exactly a surprise who he's been cozying up to when the US strategy has been to put a boot on his throat with sanctions in an attempt to drive the increasingly poor citizens to affect regime change of the notoriously resource-rich nation.

Maybe Maduro would have tanked the country all on his own with socialism, but it’s not like we'll get the chance to see that with all the relentless meddling. It would be nice if Washington could just have some faith in socialism failing so those of us who keep saying how much the ideology sucks can finally have a good recent example to illustrate. They keep depriving us of that opportunity.

The US should just be chilling out, enjoying the new NFL season kickoff, and waiting for Venezuela to fall on its face so they can proclaim, “See, kids? Don’t do socialism.” Instead, they’re running around seizing Maduro’s planes in the Dominican Republic, claiming that their purchase violated US sanctions.

The timing of such moves is likely to raise questions about Washington’s interest in preventing any potential escape just days before a planned coup.

There were some interesting vibrations in the muck prior to this latest effort online, as well. Social media accounts popped up to promote a movement coined, “Ya Casi Venezuela” (or “ Almost Venezuela”), complete with a countdown to some sort of big event scheduled for Sept. 16.

The movement has been promoted by Erik Prince, former Navy SEAL and founder of the former US private security firm, Blackwater. He had also appeared in an online video mid-August, sporting a “Resistencia Venezolana” (“Venezuelan Resistance”) T-shirt, telling Venezuelan protesters that their “friends from the north” are “coming soon. We support you to the end.”

Perhaps “the end” is what has just transpired with the roll-up of this latest botched operation? Or maybe it was just one of several balls in the air? In which case, Maduro would probably be grateful for this very public heads-up.

“Stay tuned all freedom loving people of Venezuela. More to follow,” Prince wrote on Sept. 9, just in case Maduro didn’t hear him the first 30 times that he threatened Venezuelan officials on a global public internet platform, perhaps.

Granted, there’s no smoking gun suggesting US government involvement in any actual plotting this time around. But they’re not exactly actively discouraging these coups, either. How else to explain that some of these guys actually manage to advance their plots to the point of being busted in Venezuela with American weapons despite leaving less than covert evidence of their intentions, in some cases all over the internet?

Why was it only when the previous prominent US special forces chancer got arrested by Team Maduro that the US could even be bothered spanking him with weapons charges— four years later?

You’d think that their Colombian pals would be like, “Hey, guys, you’ve got a live one over here doing commando rolls with a bunch of Venezuelan defectors. Come get your boy.” Instead, it seems that Uncle Sam is acting like one of those parents from the’ 70s and’ 80s who had to be reminded by that nightly televised public service announcement: “It’s 10 p.m. Do you know where your children are?”