ArcaMax

Woody Guthrie satirized Depression-era bankers who routinely gouged farmers and poor people. "I'm a jolly banker, jolly banker am I," Woody sang about the joyful lenders who profiteered on people's misery.

Woody's song could be sung today by Bharat Masrani, CEO of the TD Bank empire. Investigative digger Judd Legum reports that Masrani has long profited from a jolly scheme by his bank to launder $670 million in drug money from criminal networks. Federal prosecutors found that top TD bankers knew they were engaged in illegal drug dealing, but (shhhh!), they "chose profits over [legal] compliance."

So -- POW! -- the Feds socked it to TD Bank with a $3 billion fine. That'll teach 'em ... right?

No. Banks don't commit crimes; bankers do. But pointedly, none of TD Bank's top officials were charged with the crimes they committed or sanctioned. Masrani, who now admits his culpability, simply says, "I apologize."

That's it. He faces no consequences! He got $10 million in pay last year -- and no one even says, "Give it back." Also, he's now retiring but expects to get a multimillion-dollar farewell package and become a paid consultant for the bank. How is this supposed to deter other bank honchos from turning criminal?

Meanwhile, even though the bank must shovel out 3 billion big ones for its executives' illegalities, that's no deterrent to executive criminality. Banks today reap such excessive profits that losing $3 billion is just written off as the cost of doing business -- freeing executives to create new ways to rig the system for their own profit.

The message is plain: "Do the crime, and you'll do the time -- unless you're a jolly banker."

CEOS SHOW US HOW TO RAISE EVERYONE'S PAY

Here's a progressive idea I picked up from the unlikeliest of sources: corporate CEOs!

For decades, these chieftains of our economic order have been steadily implementing a very visionary process for establishing corporate wage levels. The essence of it is this: Let the workers set their own pay! Since the 1970s, when this idea began taking hold in corporate America, pay levels have zoomed up by more than 1,000%.

Well ... not for you. This "set your own pay" movement has only been available to top corporate executives, whose median paychecks now top $16 million a year! But since it's been a boon for this test group, I say it's time to expand the no-hassle compensation concept to all employees. This would greatly boost grassroots purchasing power, economic growth and fairness for all.

" Omigod, no," squawk corporate apologists, rushing to say that, technically, CEOs do not directly set their pay. Rather, the bosses have attached their earnings to their corporations' ever-rising stock prices. Thus, astronomical rewards go to those who obsessively focus on jacking up the price of their own stock, even though that's a selfishly narrow and false measure of a corporation's performance.

Also, stock price is no indicator of a CEO's worthiness. Even bosses who're blockheads can still get a boost simply because they've rigged the system to hitch a free ride on inflated stock value.

This is Jim Hightower saying ... Still, if it's good for them, why not an equal deal for working stiffs who actually deliver the products and services that give a corporation some true value? I say, each worker should get the same percentage increase in pay that the top honcho takes. It's a simple process -- and it's only fair.

To find out more about Jim Hightower and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators webpage at www.creators.com.

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