ArcaMax

Sadism and masochism (abbreviated as S&M) are generally frowned on in polite society as perverse acts of sexual gratification. But what should we make of M&As?

This is Wall Street's abbreviation of mergers and acquisitions, which are acts of self-gratification practiced by top corporate executives. Such financial couplings can also be judged as socially perverse, since they eliminate economic competition, slash jobs, raise consumer prices, shrivel markets for local suppliers, stifle innovation, and dramatically increase inequality. Despite all this, M&As are cheered by the moneyed establishment as wholesome corporate friskiness to be tolerated because they produce gushers of wealth.

Yes ... but wealth for whom?

Consider the brazen merger now being hotly pursued by Kroger and Albertsons -- two supermarket giants that themselves are spawns of multiple mergers, having consolidated dozens of previously independent competitors like Safeway, Ralphs, Vons and Randalls. Thousands of employees were punted, hundreds of stores closed ... and grocery prices soared. Yet the two remaining giants now want anti-monopoly regulators to believe in a "magic math" theory that subtracting competitors adds competition.

Bear in mind that neither chain is on the skids -- both are making billions in profits, their CEO pay is astronomical, and investors are reaping fat dividends. But too much is not enough, and mergers are a profiteering freeway that paves its way to a bonanza of monopoly pricing. And that's why these two are frantic to cozy up, having already paid nearly a billion dollars in fees to lawyers, bankers, lobbyists and PR agents to consummate their merger.

Oh, there's one more crude incentive that stimulates these corporate trysts: Executives quietly pocket merger payments if their deals go through. Albertsons' CEO, for example, is set to receive $43 million for merging with Kroger.

HOLY DONALD TRUMP! AN OKLAHOMA BIBLE STORY

As schoolkids learn in civics class, our government is made up of three separate branches. Your church is not one of them.

Unless you live in Oklahoma.

There, a fanatical Christian nationalist named Ryan Walters is the appointed superintendent of schools. But he's confused on the concept of "instruction," viewing it not as teaching but as a commandment to implement his own personal theology.

In June, he pompously instructed all public schools to put the Christian Bible in every classroom and to use them for teaching every subject. He's also demanding millions of dollars from taxpayers to buy Bibles.

But not just any Bible. This month, Walters went from kooky to corrupt, issuing bid requirements that effectively narrowed the state's purchase to one particular edition of Christianity's Holy Word -- the "God Bless the USA Bible." It's a MAGA-approved compilation promoting the dogma that America is meant to be governed by Christians. Marketed by right-wing country musician Lee Greenwood, the volume is being hawked in commercials by presidential flimflammer Donald Trump, who is avidly supported by Walters.

Oh, coincidentally, it turns out that Trump gets a cut of every one of Greenwood's sales. So, a chunk of Oklahoma's big Bible purchase would be pocketed by The Donald, enriching the most unholy president in history with manna from above.

The stench of this scam was even too much for Oklahoma's aggressively partisan GOP leaders, who've now rewritten Walters' purchase order to eliminate the Trump bid-rigging bias. Still, regular citizens are asking why the hell their state is trying to indoctrinate schoolkids, putting one religion above all others. To follow this Bible Story, connect with the nonprofit news group Oklahoma Watch: OklahomaWatch.org.

To find out more about Jim Hightower and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators webpage at www.creators.com.

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