ArcaMax

And now for some gaffs ... er, gaffes from newspapers and magazines as reported by the ever-vigilant Word Guy Blooper Patrol.

1. "We kept editing and editing your piece until, low and behold, one day there was hardly any of it left." A low blow? 2. "... (a sculpture) topped with a bear-breasted woman." This story was probably written by a cub reporter.

3. "Magazines are chronicling a trend toward getting your just desserts." A pie in the face? 4. "Either way, the award goes on the mantle." Is it a Mickey?

5. "Election Ripe with Lessons" Was there fruit-throwing involved? 6. "Tucker finds himself in the throws of a divorce." Apparently, a very contentious one.

7. "The candidate, meanwhile, was building a reputation as a boring, stogy campaigner." Was he chosen in a smoke-filled room? 8. "Give kids choices, not free reign." A blooper fit for a king?

9. "... the drug industry's undo influence on clinical testing." Did the tests include do-overs? 10. "A visit she made to a Norwich soup kitchen spurned her to create one for Middletown." If you can't stand the heat...

11. "Olympic Momentos Fetching Silver" Do they commemorate great moments of the Games? 12. "The exercise regiment is embraced by both men and women." Hup, two, three, four.

13. "(The Honda Insight) has peaked the interest of a lot of people." It must climb mountains well. 14. "He died the actress's hair brown." A killer look?

15. "She is a psycho therapist." Eeek! 16. "(They) were able at first to make a descent profit with their business." Were they in the elevator business?

17. "Among his other duties at the church, he was a regular lectern." I hear his talks were a little wooden. 18. "A ruthless gangster, he solidified a viscous reputation." He must have performed a lot of stick-ups.

19. "Miss Earhart was attempting to become the first woman pilot to circumvent the globe." And head directly into outer space? 20. "He said more serious matters, like aggregated assault, are referred to the Philadelphia police." These attacks do tend to occur in clusters.

Corrections: 1. lo and behold 2. bare-breasted 3. just deserts 4. mantel 5. rife 6. throes 7. stodgy 8. rein 9. undue 10. spurred 11. mementos 12. regimen or regime 13. piqued 14. dyed 15. psychotherapist 16. decent 17. lecturer 18. vicious 19. circumnavigate 20. aggravated

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Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to WordGuy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

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