In the moment, the parents reduce the distress. In the long run, they make it worse for the kid. The key is to recognize the tricks that anxious kids will engage in to avoid doing something. Avoidance doesn’t allow them to learn mastery.

You’ve written 35 books. Can you recommend one on anxiety for parents or teens?

“The Resilience Recipe: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Fearless Kids in the Age of Anxiety.” Part of the take-home message of the book is how parents can back up a little bit. Parents will be overly involved with their kids. Now, if you’re a conduct disorder, delinquent kid getting in trouble with the law, more parental monitoring is good. For anxious kids, sometimes less parental monitoring is preferred. We learn from taking little risks.

How has social media affected anxiety among children?

Social media is not good or bad. There are studies that show social media can be good — keeping up with your peers, chatting with friends. On the other hand, access to inappropriate material can be bad. Constantly scrolling and looking at pictures and making social comparisons and not really interacting with anybody except the media itself, there’s some pathology associated with that.

The American Psychological Association and the American Association of Child and Adolescent Psychiatrists both have recommended that there should be some education about social media use. One feature of that is teaching adolescents how to deconstruct photos they see on social media.

What do you recommend for kids who use computer gaming as social avoidance?

A teenager needs autonomy and agency. So I’d have the teenager be active in picking which way they want to try to cut back. I wouldn’t say somebody should impose cold turkey or impose overarching rules. Talk about options and let them pick the one they want to try.

Can you talk about the link between anxiety and substance abuse?

Socially anxious teens will use substances to self-medicate. I’d be cautious about vaping, beer, whatever it is. You don’t want to get excessive. It shouldn’t be a crutch. If you talk to friends, if you can make friends, if you can approach situations and not avoid without the substances, that means you can do it. Teens should increase interactions and challenges without relying on a substance.

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