The Carols of 2024
Do you need a little Christmas right this very minute? Here you go!
'The Drone Song' (To 'There's No Place Like Home for the Holidays')
Oh, there's no lack of drones in the Jersey skies
Big as Chevys, they're everywhere you roam
In the night, there's a turnpike shining in your eyes
For those Jersey guys (and spies), it's home sweet drone
'O Kamala' (To 'O Christmas Tree')
O Kamala, O Kamala
How golden were your chances
You took the show
From Scranton Joe
And made some swift advances
You laughed your laugh and peddled joy
But then those Q&As -- oh boy
O Kamala
Face palm-ala
You're left with suits of pantses
'Let It Rain' (To 'Let It Snow')
Oh, the weather outside is tropic
So to cheer us on this topic
As they say on that plain in Spain:
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain!
It doesn't show signs of stopping
On the stalks, the corn is popping
It's 80 degrees in Maine
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain!
When it finally gets too hot
The oceans will sweep us away
But if you say that they will not
There's work in the Trump EPA
Oh, the old bees aren't making new bees
And Greta's smoking doobies
In my flip-flops, I can't complain:
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain!
Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain!
'Rudolph the Giuliani' (To 'Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer')
Rudolph the Giuliani
Had a belly full of woes
And if you ever saw him
You would see his brownish nose
All of the other Trumpsters
Danced across some moral lines
But only Mayor Rudolph's
On the hook for massive fines
Then one sad and stormy night
Donald came to say:
Rudy, though your past was bright,
Now you are dead meat. Good night.
Then all the Trump team left him
As they shouted with esprit:
Rudolph the Once-Loved Mayor
You rewrote your history
You rewrote your history!
'The Kids Love Hamas' (To 'Feliz Navidad')
The kids love Hamas
The kids love Hamas
To kids on the campus
The Jews are Krampus
They love Hamas
I wanna wish them a scary Christmas
With their friends who are terroristas
I wanna wish them a scary Christmas
And a big ol' change of heart
'Tesla Time' (To 'Silver Bells')
Soaring rockets
Bulging pockets
And a friend in DC
Plus enough kids to fill Solar City
Wall Street darling
He's got Starlink
And a certain EV
So on every bro podcast you hear:
Elon Musk, Elon Musk
It's Tesla time in the city
He's got X
He's got pecs
Soon it will be Elon's world
'The Anxious Generation' (To 'The Dreidel Song')
I have a little iPhone
I play with it all day
And even during classes
I can't put it away.
Oh, iPhone, iPhone, iPhone
I can't eat, sleep or chat
I'd like to be more present
Is there an app for that?
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Lenore Skenazy is president of Let Grow, a contributing writer at Reason.com, and author of "Has the World Gone Skenazy?" She also wrote The Dysfunctional Family Christmas Songbook!!! To learn more about Lenore Skenazy (Lskenazy@yahoo.com) and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2024 Creators Syndicate, Inc.
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