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A Child Goes Missing, as Does Common Sense
"We lost our son today for 15 mins. 1st time, and it was terrifying."
So begins a post on the Raising Independent Kids Facebook group I run. Any parent can relate. In fact, a viral story in the news right now is one I was the first to report: A Georgia mom was arrested because she left her son, 10, home while she ran an errand, and instead of ...Read more
How Parenting Got So Intense
You can't find a better explanation of the rise of helicopter parenting and how, when and why that morphed into "intensive parenting" than this New York Times podcast from a few weeks ago, inspired by the surgeon general's report on parental burnout.
Michael Barbaro, host of "The Daily," interviews Claire Cain Miller, a Times reporter (and the ...Read more
How to Step Into a New Future
They say the road to success is made by walking. For kids, that is literally true.
Turns out that the more kids walk around, the more upward mobility they enjoy as adults, concluded a study in American Psychologist.
The researchers, led by Shigehiro Oishi, wondered why there are such "large regional differences in upward social mobility." They...Read more
Of Foot Binding and Modern Childhood
We no longer live in an era of foot binding, writes my Let Grow cofounder Peter Gray, a psychologist who studies the importance of mixed-age, unsupervised play. But for about a thousand years, as he notes in a recent Substack post, girls in China would have their feet broken and bound to stop them from growing. This was considered not only ...Read more
When Parents Track Kids at College
A recent front-page article in The Wall Street Journal - "Surveillance Parents Face the Ultimate Firewall: Freshman Year" -- described the difficulty -- even agony -- some parents are feeling when their kids go off to college and are harder to monitor and help from afar.
I don't blame parents for the fear and loss they feel at any stage of the ...Read more
Why Aren't You Singing?
The shower is where America does it -- in private, with no one judging, just because it feels good.
I'm talking about singing, of course, that once-universal pastime that uplifts the soul, reboots the body and doesn't demand a monthly fee. So why aren't we singing all the time?
I just spent a chunk of the day in synagogue -- it is the Jewish...Read more
A Parenting Reality Check
Once again, readers, I. MUST. RANT. Why? I ... just heard from a mom trying to get two other families to let their kids play with her kids in her yard for an hour a week. Unsupervised.
AN HOUR A WEEK. She lives on a quiet street in quiet suburb in a quiet state. Classic single-family homes. Zero traffic. Other parent (who has stood and ...Read more
Time to Ignore Our Kids
The New York Times printed some surprising advice last week: "Parents Should Ignore Their Children More Often."
I agree!
In a culture that demands we spend ever more of our time supervising, entertaining, teaching and, of course, driving our kids, the op-ed by University of Southern California psychology professor Darby Saxbe, says: Enough! ...Read more
Advice for the Surgeon General
Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has issued an advisory announcing something most of us suspected: Parenting is hard.
To ease the pain -- parents are woefully lonely, and about half report overwhelming daily stress versus 26% of nonparents -- Murthy endorses measures personal, political and workplace: more paid time off, more child care funding, ...Read more
Child Protective Services: Stop Hounding This British Star!
British TV personality Kirstie Allsopp let her 15-year-old go on a three-week train trip around Europe with a friend, age 16. Allsopp then published a proud, happy comment about it on X -- which has prompted an investigation by child protective services.
Last week, Allsopp wrote that, "My little boy has returned from 3 weeks inter-railing, he'...Read more