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Q: I've been a single mom for several years after an ugly divorce; I didn't want it, but it happened and there's no going back. Now I think I'm ready to move forward. I've been dating a great guy who has custody of his own kids. As we prepare for a new marriage and combining our households, what should we keep in mind?

Jim: Blending two families can be tougher than you'd think. Whether your previous relationships ended through divorce or the death of a spouse, entering into a new marriage comes with a special set of challenges -- especially when you and/or your spouse-to-be have kids.

For children -- even in the best of situations -- watching a parent enjoy a new relationship may not seem like "moving forward" at all. They could feel like they're being dragged into something they never asked for themselves. Here are some tips.

First, make the children a priority -- both yours and your step-kids. They need to know they matter to you. Otherwise, they'll feel like they've lost you to your new spouse (and vice-versa for the stepchildren). That's a recipe for conflict. So, give the kids lots of time and attention.

Second, invest in your new marriage. Children need a stable home life to feel comfortable and secure. Studies repeatedly prove that the best indicator of stability in the home is a healthy marriage. So be sure your relationship is solid, vibrant and growing before you walk down the aisle.

Of course, these ideas won't guarantee your households will blend without any problems at all. But they are steps in the right direction. The most important thing is to consistently invest the effort necessary to make your new family work -- while bathing everything (and everyone) in grace and prayer.

For more help strengthening your family, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Q: I have two kids, a kindergartner and a second grader. I want to help them learn how to have good, meaningful conversations with people. What do you suggest?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Conversational skills are both caught and taught. Helping elementary-aged children become good communicators involves teaching them (and modeling) humility, self-control and empathy. Here are some helpful techniques:

1. Be Curious. Cultivate genuine interest by considering what others might be thinking. Imagine a "thought bubble" above the person's head and try to fill it in as the conversation progresses. Ask yourself: "What are they thinking?" Encourage children to become curious about others' thought bubbles while communicating their own.

2. Use Reflective Questioning. Reflect what you've heard by repeating it in your own words (for example, "What I hear you saying is ..."). This reassures the speaker that they are understood and allows them to clarify their meaning. This technique helps children understand whether they are being heard and how to maintain the conversation's focus.

3. Pay Attention to Emotions. Help your kids learn to be mindful of the speaker's feelings by noticing their facial expressions, body language and tone of voice. Ask questions related to these observations, such as, "I noticed you look kind of sad; I wonder what thoughts are squeezing out those sad feelings?" This teaches children that communication occurs nonverbally and that thoughts are connected to emotions.

By modeling and teaching these techniques, children learn that others want to be understood. Encourage children to consider others by modeling questions like, "I wonder what they're thinking? Let's use questions to see what's in their thought bubbles." Engage their natural curiosity and encourage them to take turns sharing their own thoughts and emotions -- especially as they learn about different temperaments. Asking questions is key to having great conversations at any age.

For more information, visit FocusOnTheFamily.com/parenting.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2025 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.