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Q: I struggle at my job with feeling overlooked and unappreciated. I'm surrounded by people with more experience, skill, and/or education who get the attention. It's pretty discouraging; how can I keep my attitude up?

Jim: I'd say don't look down on yourself; your role may be much more important than you think. Let me give you an illustration.

Think about watching a symphony orchestra in action. You'll see a wide variety of musical instruments played by people who have honed their skills for years. Master conductor Leonard Bernstein was asked once which is the hardest instrument to play, and his insightful answer was "second fiddle." He went on to say: "I can get plenty of first violinists. But to find someone who plays second violin with as much enthusiasm -- that's a problem. Yet if we have no second fiddle, we have no harmony."

Bernstein's point is that in this me-first, "personal brand" world filled with people posting promotional selfies, very few are interested in playing "second fiddle." It's even become a derogatory term for someone who works hard behind the scenes but receives little credit.

HOWEVER -- a supporting role is nothing to look down on. The richness and fullness of music comes from the harmonies provided by the entire orchestra. And anyone who truly understands how thriving organizations function will tell you that success can only be achieved when everyone involved emphasizes results over recognition.

So, maybe you feel insignificant because people around you seem to get the spotlight. But I encourage you to see yourself from a different perspective. You bring something to your circle of influence that no one else could -- your uniquely created blend of personality, skills and experience. And something critically important would be missing without you. I hope you'll find a fulfilling spot, at this job or perhaps a different one, where your value is clearly appreciated and communicated to you and everyone else.

Q: I love my family dearly and do my best, but I feel like I make a lot of mistakes with my kids. How can I deal with my shortcomings as a parent?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Parenting often has a way of highlighting our imperfections. But thankfully, being a good parent doesn't mean having to be a perfect parent. In fact, true success in parenting is about how you respond to -- and learn from -- the mistakes we all inevitably make.

When imperfection happens, I've learned to ask myself four key questions:

1. What happened (from both my perspective and my child's)?

2. What can I learn from what happened?

3. What will I do differently next time?

4. What's my next move to reconnect with my child and move forward?

As I've worked through these questions in specific parenting situations, I've also developed more empathy and understanding for other parents -- including my own.

Along the way, I've had plenty of opportunities to continue learning humility, grace, forgiveness, love and patience through my role as an imperfect dad. Even though we can drive each other nuts sometimes, as a family the Huertas have also come to understand one another at a very deep level, and that fosters genuine empathy and connection within our home.

Focus on the Family offers a wide range of specific parenting tools, including a free assessment to help you find out where your strengths lie and how to maximize those. You'll also learn what your weaknesses are and how to work on shoring those up. I encourage you to check these resources out at FocusOnTheFamily.com/Parenting. Meanwhile, as should be the case in every area of life, be ready to sincerely apologize and repair when needed.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2025 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.