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Q: I'm not much for resolutions, but I do like to take stock occasionally. I've got a good life -- solid career, married well, good kids, nice home. Still, I don't want to miss anything. What's your best "man-to-man" advice for the next, say, 20 years?

Jim: I think the critical key is to ask yourself: Where do you really find your fulfillment? If it's somewhere other than (1) your faith (2) your wife and kids, you need to reconsider your priorities.

I'll share a personal example. I love to play golf. When I was first married, I'd often spend four or five hours most weekends hitting the fairway with my buddies. But when our two boys were very young, my wife Jean came to me and said: "You know, you're spending a lot of time on the golf course over the weekend, while your sons are here at home. Can you play during the week?"

Jean's concern really hit a chord with me. I resolved right then to devote Saturdays to family time as much as possible. I didn't quit golf altogether, but I tried to schedule it during times when Jean and the boys were occupied elsewhere. Now that my sons are grown, I look back on it as a trade-off definitely worth making.

For you, maybe it's not golf -- it might be another hobby or your career. There's nothing inherently wrong with those things. Men are wired to find satisfaction and fulfillment in a job well done. And it's nice to receive words of affirmation from our boss or teammates.

But these things can never take priority over our wives and kids. Investing in our family -- in their happiness, fulfillment and well-being -- is a far more important use of our time and energy.

Q: I'm a single woman in my late 20s. I have plenty of dates, but I'm not really interested in getting married. I've seen so many marriages break up, including my parents ... why pursue a lost cause?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: I think one of the most insightful statements I've heard about marriage comes from author Maggie Gallagher: "Getting married is the boldest and most idealistic thing that most of us will ever do."

Ms. Gallagher is correct -- marriage demands a lot from us. Building a successful marriage requires us to think about our spouse's well-being more than our own. Make no mistake, that kind of sacrifice doesn't come naturally, and it takes a ton of commitment to live it out every day.

I would add to that an illustration about marriage from the renowned cinematic philosopher, Rocky Balboa. In the original 1976 movie, a friend asks Rocky why he'd bother pursuing a relationship with Adrian, a shy young woman who's afraid of her own shadow. Rocky replies as only he can: "She's got gaps; I got gaps. Together we fill gaps!"

Even coming from a fictional film, Rocky's statement is simple but profound. We have the ability to be strong where our spouse is weak, and vice versa. To achieve that, we've got to be willing to step outside of ourselves and make our spouse's needs a priority. The love we feel when dating is usually all about our needs being met. I think that's why Maggie Gallagher describes marriage as a "bold" move. Infatuation eventually wears off. We can only experience true, fulfilling, lifelong love if we're willing to serve our spouse and fill each other's gaps. It's bold, idealistic -- and absolutely worth it. I think a healthy marriage is the most satisfying connection you can experience with another human.

In closing, I'd recommend our online community for young adults: Boundless.org.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

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