Answer Angel: Fashion for the rest of us?

Dear Answer Angel: Since I was a teenager I have been a big fan of fashion magazines. Vogue, Elle, Harper’s Bazaar, etc., mostly in print but more recently also online. I’ve learned a lot about makeup trends, skin care and clothes trends.

Over the years, it seems to me that more and more of them are showing and recommending products, clothes and accessories that are way more expensive than all but the most wealthy among us could ever expect to afford.

Why aren’t they paying attention to the huge majority of us whose budgets will never stretch that far? And when they throw in a piece of clothing from a mall store or makeup from the drugstore, it’s just a token mention, which is almost insulting and doesn’t fool anybody that they care about us regular people.

--Celia G.

Dear Celia: Two reasons.

Fashion bibles claim to be “aspirational”—to give us dressing and product ideas from the high-end designers and cosmetic companies to enable the rest of us to look, wish for, and try to duplicate, perhaps with one or two “splurges.”

Second, advertisers! Even a casual reader will have to endure pages (and screens) of ads from Chanel, Vuitton, Ferragamo, Bulgari, Van Cleef & Arpels before getting to editorial (non-advertising) spreads that feature clothes, perfumes, makeup and accessories from…Chanel, Bulgari et al. It’s up to us savvy consumers to look (and covet) but to buy with caution.

Dear Answer Angel Ellen: I have a beautiful diamond ring that I inherited when my mom passed away. I’ve always told my son that it is reserved for his future wife. Well, now he’s engaged and he doesn’t want it. He tells me his fiancee has a very specific idea of what she wants her diamond ring to look like and my mom’s diamond isn’t the right shape.

I don’t want this heirloom to leave the family but since he’s my only son, I honestly don’t know what to do with it. I think it is worth quite a bit. My two daughters are already married and I can’t give it to only one of them since the other will be unhappy.

--Kiya L.

Dear Kiya: I hear this kind of dilemma from readers often. It happens with other treasured items besides jewelry: furniture, silver, china, collectibles. Tastes change. Not much you can do about that.

Here are a few ideas, although none of them are going to result in your daughter-in-law wearing grandma’s ring down the aisle.

-- Offer to have the diamond reset as a solitaire necklace, bracelet or solitaire earring to wear with her wedding gown or at the rehearsal dinner. Or present the not-a-ring diamond jewelry made from the heirloom ring for a special anniversary gift from you or your son.

-- This isn’t what you want to hear: Resign yourself to changing tastes and sell the diamond and offer the money to go toward paying for a different ring. Or, donate the funds to the couple’s favorite charity. (This works for other valuable family treasures too.) Or donate the money to your favorite charity or grandkids’ 529 plan for college.

-- Rethink your commitment to “keeping it in the family” and consider what it might mean to a dear friend, goddaughter or someone you know who will treasure it.

Readers: Tell me your ideas for this common dilemma.

Angelic Readers 1

Many of you were put out by reader Harriette E.’s remark about older women wearing long hair only because they — wrongly — think it “makes them look younger.”

From Sharon F.: “Wow! What a judgmental negative comment! I moved to the desert and grew my hair longer so that I can easily put it up during the summer heat and on busy days when I don’t have time to style it. No, I don’t think it makes me look younger. Yes, I’ve known other women to grow their hair long after cancer to see the color/length of their post-chemo hair.” Mollie B. says, “I am currently 67-years-old. I am growing out my hair...again because when it gets nice and long, I have it cut and donated to make wigs for cancer patients who lose their hair during chemo. There are other reasons to grow out your hair!” Claire H. too grows her hair to donate for wigs for cancer patients.

From Fred G.: “Reader Harriette E. overlooked an important reason that some older women have long hair. I don't think I am alone in this, but my 63-year-old wife looks gorgeous with long hair. (She's gorgeous anyway.) Maybe she only keeps it long because of me, but hey, that's the way love works!”