ArcaMax

The ongoing battle to hold on to our hard-earned personhood while in a love relationship demands self-confidence and self-awareness. But what about encouraging your beloved to also be an individual? What about having the maturity (hate the word) and wisdom (a much better one) to grant them -- nay, encourage them -- to own breathing space to be ...Read more

Parenting is a privilege. Being the main influence in the lives of your children is an honor and a blessing. And at times, a royal pain in the neck!

But single parenting has to be -- hands down -- the most complex, demanding situation in all of the single world. It's exhausting, complicated, seemingly never-ending, emotionally draining -- and ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: The other day, a friend said that I'm angry at men and I seem to resent them, even if they're nice. Any thoughts on why this could be? -- Sallie D., New York City

DEAR SALLIE: There are many possible roots to your anti-male mindset, starting with the family dynamics in your home. I'd like you to scan the whole list of possibilities ...Read more

A recent letter in this column has stirred up a virtual hornet's nest. It comes from a 30-something man who -- vigorously and rather unpleasantly -- stakes claim to nearly all parenting rights and privileges in his (hypothetical) marriage. At the moment, he's neither husband nor parent. But he has thought through the battles he'd wage. Example: ...Read more

Dear Susan: I used to only date men who were taller than me. But now I'm engaged to someone almost 3 inches shorter than I am, and honestly, he's such a great person I couldn't care less. (From the internet)

Dear Blogger: At last, good sense makes a comeback! (I don't know your age, but I'll bet my shiny new printer you're upwards of 30. That ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: Responding to your recent survey:

-- How late in the week can a man call you for a date? ANS: Whenever he wants to, provided he doesn't show up at my doorstep unannounced! If I'm busy, I'll say so. If not, I'm happy to accept his invitation.

-- Do you think he respects you more if you set a deadline? ANS: No. Deadlines are for the ...Read more

Dear Susan: I was widowed in February after being married 35 years. My husband and I married in our 30s, so I do have some experience being single, but now I'm sort of lost. Our marriage was so close we kept our friends at the periphery, which only adds to my problems. Have you some back material I could download or purchase online? Thank you. -...Read more

There's a fiction circling singleworld that making your life comfortable and secure while you're unmarried consigns you to a life sentence there, with no chance of parole or reprieve. Well, this lady engineer is over the moon to announce that the myth is pure fiction! The reality? The more interesting you make your singleness, the more relaxed ...Read more

--Readiness is all. The same person who didn't stir you 10 years ago might just knock your socks off today because you've grown and now see their better points ... and maybe -- just maybe -- because you're now ready to make the commitment. Stay open.

--How many people do you know who look at marriage as an experience rather than a commitment? (...Read more

The situation has eased somewhat, but the divorced dads of this world are still having a tough time winning custody of their children. The role of primary caregiver is usually given to the woman, and the man of the house has no more house -- nor home. His children become part-time guests. His family role is decimated -- as is his bank account ...Read more

Meditation is a proven path to inner thoughts, to thoughts circling consciousness. It can serve as a quiet time in your busy life, a few minutes of total calm in which you allow your mind the quietude and rest it needs -- and certainly deserves. In the 15 minutes or so of quiet time, meditating, you'll hear the voice of your inner thoughts ...Read more

Single parenting can be lonely, coming back to needy children and a partnerless home every night. But calling for a Family Council every Friday night, when the kids can sleep late the next day (and so can you), can put some fun and pizza into the week for all of you. It's a great time to air grievances, big and small, and let every voice feel ...Read more

Get closer to your parents. Like most corny advice, this one's pure gold. These people who sired you and raised you into adulthood are special in your life, unique and irreplaceable, too often ignored in the rush to adulthood. Take them to dinner, one at a time, and let them get to know their offspring as an adult, and a loving one at that. It ...Read more