Woman Fears Boyfriend's Reaction To Her Past
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm afraid my past embarrassing moments will make my boyfriend see me in a different light. I've been dating "Bryan" for two years now, and he is insisting on coming to my hometown to meet my friends, as I have met his. We both live in the city where we work, but I grew up as an overweight kid in a low-income household with neglectful parents. I have nine siblings. Due to parental neglect, I had some hygiene issues that led to bullying throughout school -- I had lice, body odor and poor oral care. In contrast to how I used to be, I am different as an adult, with a decent job that pays well and complete hygienic care. My boyfriend knows me as someone meticulous about her body, who takes care of herself and maintains a slim figure. Now that he is insisting on vising my hometown, I'm afraid he will learn about that past version of me and be disgusted by the stories. I've been declining to make this trip for two years; how do you think I should proceed? This is a sensitive topic for me. -- New Leaf in a New City
DEAR NEW LEAF IN A NEW CITY: Talk to your boyfriend and tell him about your past. In order to build a meaningful relationship with him, you need to reveal who you are in your entirety. Before stepping foot in your hometown, sit down and open up. Talk about your family and some of the challenges you faced as a child. Describe your past physical self and how you were ostracized because of it. Explain that it feels like opening an old wound to take him to your hometown. Over time you may decide to take him, but your first step of giving him a glimpse of your world should help him to back off a bit -- at least for now.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I posted a video on TikTok showcasing how I packed my 5-year-old daughter's lunchbox with ready-made cookie dough. Unfortunately, the response was overwhelmingly negative, with many criticizing my choice for not opting for a healthier or homemade alternative. I strive to provide my daughter with nutritious and enjoyable meals, but I also believe that a bit of convenience should not be condemned. Balancing practicality with healthy choices is important to me, and I believe that occasional treats are acceptable. How can I address the criticism without feeling discouraged? Do you have any advice on finding a middle ground between convenience and health in my daughter's lunches? Your support and guidance would be greatly appreciated. -- Healthy Choices
DEAR HEALTHY CHOICES: First of all, I bet plenty of those naysayers give their children chips and sweets in their lunch, so take a breath. Your internet trolls reacted to one post as if that is what you do every day. Take it for what it's worth. In terms of how to best care for your child, look up healthy snacks and provide those most days: fresh and dried fruit, nuts (if allowed at the school), low-sodium and low-sugar snacks. You can occasionally mix in a homemade cookie, but make sure your child knows that it is a rare treat.
========
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2024, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2024 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Comments