ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I participated in a vintage train excursion. At several points in the journey, the engineer stopped the train so that people could disembark to take photos and videos.

During one photo op, some enthusiasts beside me were chatting when a pair of Spielberg wannabes rebuked them, saying, "We're trying to get sound on this shot."...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Are there polite ways to refuse to participate in a video chat when someone tries to pass a cellphone to you?

My brother-in-law and his wife are extremely involved in their toddler grandchildren's lives and rarely go more than a few hours without contacting them. When we are out with the adults, one of them inevitably whips ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've always tipped restaurant servers, hairdressers, pizza delivery drivers and manicurists, of course, understanding that most of these positions do not pay very well and the person is likely living off tips more than salary.

Within the last year, however, I have been told in several different ways, some not very subtle, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have twice invited a friend to parties after asking if the dates were open for her, and she accepted each time. About a week before each party, she said that she was going to do something else and wouldn't be coming.

Am I being overly sensitive to be a bit bothered by this? My parents always told me that once you accept an ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm trying to help a friend who has a sick 18-year-old daughter. The young lady has many serious medical issues, and the family has a lot of medical debt.

Another friend is holding a fundraising event for her and is charging a whole $10 to attend. She will raise tens and tens of dollars. Meanwhile, the girl's mom set up an ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I need to know how I should have responded to a cashier who overstepped.

Some background: I had my second child about 15 months ago. My husband and I are not looking to have a third. I'm still breastfeeding, which makes my cycle rather unpredictable; still, I was concerned recently when I seemed to be about a week late.

I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our daughter is getting married in about six months. My husband and I told her that we would help out financially, and have contributed a significant amount thus far. She and her fiance have to cover some of the costs, as well. The groom's parents are not contributing anything toward the reception.

My daughter doesn't share ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: About two years ago, I completely and successfully left all social media behind. I also limited my texting to essential information. It has been largely a wonderful change in my life.

Still, I have friends who cannot accept that I am not looking at their posts and do not engage in lengthy conversations via text. I also have ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Am I obliged to dislike people my longtime partner dislikes?

On our daily dog walk in a nearby park, we often encounter a woman with a Doberman pinscher that has been aggressive toward our dog in the past (barking, snapping, pulling on its leash), although it has been behaving better recently. My partner dislikes this woman ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our local movie theater offers free refills of popcorn and drinks. My family members insist on getting these refills after every movie to take home with them.

As they get their refills, I stand back and feel embarrassed to be in their party, because I believe the refreshments are meant to be enjoyed during the film. I also ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I got into a spat with the head of social events at an embassy. She is annoyed that I brought my wife as a "plus one" to an embassy event to which I had been invited. It was celebrating a royal birthday.

She insisted that it was a work event -- not one for spouses to attend. I fully accept that for her, it was a work event, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Lately I have noticed an increase in people saying "I appreciate you" instead of "Thank you" or "I appreciate it."

I really don't like it. I hear it fairly often from a co-worker, and I think she is sincere, so I just say "Thank you."

That feels wrong, however. If I just went out of my way to help her, shouldn't she say "...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My best friend and I frequently get together for lunch at local restaurants. I am sometimes embarrassed by what my friend says to servers, and I don't know how I can get her to stop.

If the service is good, she is very effusive with her praise, and ties up the server by chatting as if they were now BFFs. If she thinks the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a live theater performance. Seated directly in front of me was a very tall woman whose hair was styled in an updo that added -- seriously -- five or six inches to her height!

I could not see the stage at all unless I leaned uncomfortably left or right, and each time she shifted in her seat, I had to shift in mine. ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have some friends who regularly host a tailgate party in the parking lot of the college football stadium near our house. We walk to the tailgate, and then go home once the game begins.

Hosting this tailgate is "their thing," and they seem to enjoy being hosts.

Our other interactions with these friends center around our ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Due to a pretty bad injury years ago, I now work a job that is 100% remote. This means many, many video meetings. Most meetings start with the "Hi, how are you?" or "Good game on Sunday, did you see it?" questions and random chitchat.

But for the past couple of weeks, topics I consider unprofessional have been brought up. ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I will be visiting London soon, and will see several theatrical productions. One play will feature a famous American actress whom we've never met, but who is a friend of a friend.

Our friend suggested we send a note backstage with a greeting. Is it proper to include our own contact information in the note? I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a party at my house with a few friends and family members. Guest A complimented my decor and asked if she could help with prep. I assured her that my adult children were great helpers; they knew their way around the kitchen as they had grown up in this house.

She chatted with us for a while and then mingled with other ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I sent out a dinner invitation to my in-laws. My brother-in-law called my husband to confirm attendance. He added that he will be bringing his boyfriend, and will require certain food accommodations because the boyfriend was just discharged from the hospital a couple of days ago after a major organ transplant surgery.

I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a woman who works at a home repair store, where I routinely help customers load heavy merchandise into their vehicles. I am a small woman who is strong for her size. A lot of times, customers are surprised to see this, but most people let me do my job.

Once in a while, I'll get somebody who doesn't approve. One woman ...Read more