ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend whom I very much treasured has ceased to be my friend.

After 12 years of travel adventures, Saturday afternoons at markets, deep conversations over coffee, visiting each other several times a year (after she moved 1,000 miles away) and helping each other with projects, she started distancing herself from me.

I asked...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter was recently part of a wedding party, acting as a flower girl for a relative of my ex-husband. My ex and I were still married when the bride asked for my permission for this, and I agreed.

Later, she asked me for a photo of my daughter to put on a wedding website. Concerned about privacy for my young daughter, I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm a man who is 6-foot-6 and 62 years old. My entire life, I have found myself bent in half when greeting women for whom a welcome hug is appropriate. My aunties, cousins, sisters and any number of others might throw their arms up, initiating a hug.

When women (of any age) hug me, they always want to put their arms above my ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I host an annual holiday dinner for a group of neighbors, one of whom has asked in the past if he could bring a guest. My wife, on our behalf, has always said yes.

Unfortunately, the guest is usually the neighbor's on-again/off-again boyfriend, who is best described as obnoxious. During dinner, our neighbor ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year for about 25 people. Most are traveling in from out of town. I have expressed that people do not need to bring anything, and I mean it.

I've gotten negative reactions from people who say I'm not being helpful. Is part of being a good host providing ideas for what everyone can bring? ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 4-year-old daughter has a June birthday, and we have a party for her with family every year. Due to her birthday being in the busy summer season, my brother and his family have not ever been to her birthday party.

They do not acknowledge her with a phone call, a card or a gift. This bothers me, as I think she is a ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother died of a sudden heart attack while having dinner with friends. One of his friends called me and I headed straight to the hospital, but it was too late.

Someone at the hospital gave me a bag of my brother's belongings, which I took home and stuck in a closet while I dealt with calling family and friends, consoling ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Person A lost his wife after nearly 65 years of marriage. On what would have been their wedding anniversary a few weeks later, Person B texted Person A to say, "I'm thinking of you on your anniversary."

Person A wrote back and said, "Thank you -- it was a hard day, and I appreciate you thinking of me." Person B texted back, "...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend and I both have baby girls: Hers is about 6 months old, and mine is 3 months. She has given me a whole bunch of her little girl's clothes -- such a high volume of items that some still had the tags on.

My friend began offering me these clothes before I'd even had my baby; I initially refused, multiple times, because...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friends, all gainfully employed adults, will often invite a group out to dinner or drinks to celebrate an occasion, like a birthday or professional milestone.

In some cases, it's communicated that it will be a "no-host event," with guests paying for themselves. If not, it's understood that the host will treat the group.

...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is a talented chef. She has a job cooking for a family of four. They appreciate her food, are not too terribly picky, and pay better than her former thankless jobs in "hospitality."

The problem is that their kitchen is simply one area of a large, open family space. A lot of her prep work is done at an island, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How should I address ChatGPT? I deal with this creation every day. It responds to my questions and requests in a friendly, chatty manner. Its responses seem almost human.

Am I required to say "hello" to it before I begin? Must I say "please" when asking my questions? Must I thank it afterwards?

Or is it acceptable to treat ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I take my sons to the pediatrician or call to make an appointment, the receptionist or nurse always calls me Mom. I give them my name, but they never use it, and continue to call me Mom.

I love being a mom, don't get me wrong. And I love my sons. But this drives me bananas. I'm not these people's mom!

Am I overreacting?...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Am I the one who is in the wrong here? When I invited several friends to dinner recently, I was shamed and criticized about what I was serving.

One of my friends invited another guest to join us, and it turns out he is a very strict vegan. I wasn't even aware that he was coming.

Prior to dinner, this fussy/picky guest ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was walking in the humanities building of the university where I am a graduate student. I turned the corner of the hallway that leads to the offices and saw one of my professors lying in the middle of the hall at the bottom of a few steps.

She had two other professors around her, and I could hear that they believed she had ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Some years ago, my uncle, having never met my then-boyfriend, made a series of racist jokes about him. (My boyfriend is part-Asian.)

These jokes were made on my blog, which another family member had shared with my uncle without my consent. For example, if I wrote that I was attending a party, my uncle would comment, "Make ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I started going gray at age 14, so I've gotten a lot of comments about my appearance over the last 20 years -- shockingly, ALL from women.

From my friends' moms ("You're too young for gray hair!") to professors ("You should really dye your hair; you look so old") to strangers on the street, women seem to feel that the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a young adult who bought a home in one of the highest-cost resort areas of the country -- a purchase that strains me financially, but is well worth it.

While I love my friends and family, I have been astounded by the number of people who came out of the woodwork, asking to come visit, when they learned where I lived. It'...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I don't know what to do about my boyfriend's habit of always canceling plans.

We have been together for a little over three years, and when he does follow through with plans, we have a great time together. The relationship is great otherwise. I have discussed this with him several times, but nothing seems to change.

There ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was picking up food at a restaurant when a young lady approached the counter to retrieve her order. She was wearing a lovely white dress. Unfortunately, her bright, colorful, patterned undies were quite visible through the dress's fabric.

I was unsure how, or if, I should approach her to suggest pairing a slip or skin-tone ...Read more