ArcaMax

Dear Annie: I am hopelessly in love with my best friend and have been for most of our lives (we've been friends since childhood). Over the years, there have been moments when it felt like we were moving toward being together, but it never progressed. We currently live together and share almost every aspect of our lives but don't even sleep in the same room most nights. We've been intimate in the past, but not recently. While intimacy isn't everything, there are times I crave his touch, and he shows little to no interest.

I can't help but wonder if he's only living with me because it's comfortable. Don't get me wrong; he helps me a lot around the house and with my property, but I could hire someone for those things. We spend time together, but only as friends. We used to cuddle on the couch and watch movies, but now we don't even sit on the same couch. It's breaking my heart. Whenever I try to talk about it, he changes the subject.

I've been married and divorced, but he's never married. Sometimes I think his behavior stems from a fear of commitment. Other times, I wonder if he just isn't interested in me that way but cares enough not to hurt my feelings by rejecting me outright.

At this point, I'd rather know the truth than keep holding onto false hope. Should I keep hoping that his feelings might change, or is it time to let go and move on? -- Chasing My Childhood Dream

Dear Chasing a Childhood Dream: Wow, this is a tough and emotionally complicated situation. It's clear how much you care about your best friend, and it must be incredibly difficult to live in this limbo where you're unsure of his feelings or intentions. From his actions, it seems like he might be perfectly content with the current arrangement -- friends with benefits. However, it's also clear that this situation is not working for you.

If you truly want more than what this relationship currently offers, it's time to have an honest and heartfelt conversation with him. Sit him down and explain how you feel. Be prepared for the possibility that he might not feel the same way, but remember that honesty, even if painful, is better than continuing to wonder and hope for something that may never happen.

This conversation may not be easy, but it's necessary for your own peace of mind. If he doesn't share the same feelings or isn't willing to move the relationship forward, you need to consider whether staying in this arrangement is truly healthy for you. Holding onto a one-sided love holds you back from finding the kind of relationship you deserve -- a mutual, fulfilling love.

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.