Life Advice
/Health
A Brief Thank-You Note Has An Outsized Impact
DEAR ABBY: Some time ago, you printed a letter from a grandmother who said she was changing her will because neither her adult children nor her grandchildren ever wrote her thank-you notes when she sent a gift. I had taught my son the importance of writing thank-you notes, but he wasn't doing a very good job of completing the process. I cut out ...Read more
Relationship Born In Rehab Must Endure Long-Distance
DEAR ABBY: I got out of rehab two months ago. While I was there, I met someone. "Annie" lives in Florida, and I live in California. We both are doing great, and I believe we make each other stronger.
Do you think a long-distance relationship can work? I hear it's not possible. She has recently divorced, and so have I. Annie has two children, 15...Read more
Wife Tired Of Being The Only One To Make Plans
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 17 years to a good man with many great attributes. However, our relationship lacks connection. Every effort at emotional connection is initiated by me (like planning date nights or going out for a walk to have a conversation). I have told him many times I need him to make an effort to initiate. He always agrees...Read more
Stepdaughter's Spoiled Behavior Has Worn Thin
DEAR ABBY: I'm in my early 30s; my husband is 46. We have been married three years. He has a 24-year-old daughter, "Kiki." Kiki has always been spoiled and catered to; she learned how to lie and manipulate during her childhood.
I have tried to help her because I believed his family when they said she's trying to get it together. Kiki has a DUI,...Read more
Family's 'Doer' Is Tired Of Always Helping Stepmom
DEAR ABBY: I am a 37-year-old woman who seems to be the go-to person in my family to figure things out. Due to my stepmom not feeling comfortable enough with her English and my striving to win her approval, I made sure to take care of the things she couldn't from an early age. The problem is, while I used to be proud of myself for always being ...Read more
Bitter Feelings For Mean Teacher Persist Decades Later
DEAR ABBY: My elementary school teacher passed away recently. I hadn't seen her in more than 20 years because of how she made me feel. I remember her as manipulative and having a negative attitude toward the less fortunate. Because I didn't come from a rich or prominent family, I was subjected to humiliation, fear and intimidation. I remember ...Read more
Friend's Drunk Dials Are Too Much To Handle
DEAR ABBY: I have been friends with a couple for 30 years. Both are alcoholics. They function, work at farmers' markets, are sociable, have a house and pay their bills. Yet, at least once, maybe twice a month, they get totally wasted and the wife calls me and rambles on incoherently. I suspect they get drunk even more frequently, but, thankfully...Read more
Partner Wants Intimacy Only With A Third Participant
DEAR ABBY: I'm in an open relationship with my partner. We both enjoy hooking up with other people, but only if we agree on the person. It was going great; I still got my one-on-one time with my partner. But now it seems that instead of making love with just me, the only time he wants to touch me is if someone else comes over. What's the best ...Read more
Cash For Niece's Shower Pays For Cruise Instead
DEAR ABBY: My sister recently lost her husband, who passed away after a brief fight with cancer. Her daughter, my niece, was scheduled to be married later this year. They struggle with finances, and my brother-in-law's death exacerbated the situation. In order to help out, my wife and I quietly gave them $1,000 to put toward my niece's shower so...Read more
Relatives' Estate Planning Left Siblings Out In The Cold
DEAR ABBY: When my husband, "Sid," was a young adult, his mother died by suicide. A few years later, when his maternal grandparents died, his mother's two siblings inherited his grandparents' estate. Other family members have commented that it seemed wrong for Sid and his sister to be disinherited from their mother's share of the estate. Because...Read more
Jilted Ex Eager To Resurrect A Relationship
DEAR ABBY: I had a five-year relationship with a man. We broke up because he was unfaithful. Even though I'm willing to forgive and still have feelings for him, my kids don't like this man and don't want me to reconnect with him. My children say that if I do, they no longer want to have a relationship with me.
Their ultimatum doesn't seem fair....Read more
Relationship With Daughter Has Deteriorated Amid Hardships
DEAR ABBY: My daughter was diagnosed with a disease. Soon after, she decided to marry a man she'd met. I'm not fond of the guy, and I find it difficult to have a relationship with him. They moved to another state, and I asked that she not bring him to this house. However, every chance she gets, she brings him, and he acts as if this is his house...Read more
Unfaithful Ex Ponders A Pass At Married Former Spouse
DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced from my ex-husband, "Paul," for 20 years. I never remarried. The divorce was mostly my fault because I was unfaithful. We never tried to save our marriage. He immediately started dating and remarried 18 months later. We have remained friends due to having four children and now grandchildren. I get along with his ...Read more
Affection For Shorter Man Grows After Decades Apart
DEAR ABBY: I dated a colleague when I was 22 but broke it off because I couldn't deal with the fact that he was several inches shorter than me. I did not tell him why. I just said, "It's me, not you."
I am now in my 60s, have had a very successful career, never married and see online that he became a distinguished researcher. In his online ...Read more
Disparity Of Sex Drives May Stall Relationship
DEAR ABBY: I'm a woman in my early 20s, and I have been dating my man for two years. I love him dearly and want to spend the rest of my life with him. He plans to propose before the end of the year, and we plan to be married next year.
Sex with him is fabulous. However, I have a very active libido (probably similar to that of a teenage boy), ...Read more
End-Of-Year Celebration Flies Off The Rails
DEAR ABBY: I chaired an event with a local service organization. Many hours were exhausted with planning and decorating. During the program, a few members playfully started throwing some items from the centerpieces at the guest speakers. By the end of the program, most of the room's centerpieces were dismantled and on the floor.
My committee ...Read more
Friends Keep Mum About Affair Within Their Circle
DEAR ABBY: Our friend "Carrie" revealed to our close friend group that for the last few years she has been having an affair with her best friend "Julia's" husband. Their kids are best friends, and they spend a lot of time together, even taking family vacations.
We have told Carrie many times how this can affect the kids, which she acknowledges,...Read more
Sibling Reluctant To Fill Role As Sister's Therapist
DEAR ABBY: My sister, whom I dearly love, is going through some difficult times. She confides in me about her troubles, and I gladly listen and give advice. Although I am willing to listen and help, I feel she would really benefit from seeing a therapist to help her overcome some of her challenges. I also know that her decisions are hers to make...Read more
Custody Issues And Ex's Behavior Put Strain On New Marriage
DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Ellis," a wonderful man, for a year and a half. This is a second marriage for each of us. My older children are on their own. Ellis has three boys (ages 15, 21 and 23) who live with us. The oldest is autistic. My husband and his ex-wife, "Mia," share joint custody, but our home is the primary home.
Mia is ...Read more
Young Woman Keeps Mom At Arm's Length On Social Media
DEAR ABBY: I'm the mom of an 18-year-old daughter, "Leia." We have always tried to keep the lines of communication open with our children, and we have what I think is a strong, positive familial bond.
My best friend recently informed me that Leia has an Instagram account that's publicly accessible. I can't find her account when I search, which ...Read more