Dear Anna,

I moved to a new city for work last month, leaving behind a "situationship" that never quite became official. Now he’s texting wanting to try long distance, saying the new year made him realize what he wants, which is, evidently, me. I'm torn between giving this another chance and making a completely fresh start in my new home. Should I consider his offer? — New City, Old Feelings

Dear NCOF,

Isn't it funny how leaving someone has a way of crystallizing their feelings? (Or at least making them think it has.) The start of a new year often brings these "what if" messages bubbling to the surface. Perhaps it’s the holiday rom-com residue, unrealistic New Year’s resolution pressure to get our lives together, or plain ol’ winter loneliness.

Here's the thing, though: When someone suddenly "realizes what they want" only after you've moved away, it's worth asking why they couldn't see it when you were right there in front of them. Not to be overly cynical, but sometimes we want what we can't have precisely because we can't have it.

Of course, it’s possible he truly did have a Dark Night of the Soul revelation, but I’d take this confession with several grains of salt. Before you decide if this dude is worth another ol’ college try, consider these questions, particularly remembering how hard long distance is even for established relationships:

—During your situationship, what stopped him from making it official? Have those obstacles actually changed, or just your ZIP code?

—Are you genuinely excited about the possibility, or does it feel more like a comfortable security blanket in your new city?

—Is this potential long-distance relationship going to enhance or hinder your fresh start? That is, is it going to make it harder for you to do the scary things involved in learning a new place?

If you do decide to explore this, set clear expectations from the start. Define what "trying" means: How often will you communicate? Visit? What's the end goal? Then, most importantly, give yourself permission to change your mind if it's not working.

Remember, you moved for a reason. This is your chance to write a whole new chapter — new acquaintances and friendships to make, new coffee shops and restaurants to explore, new karaoke spots to find that don’t yet know your particular off-key flavor of “Oops!… I Did It Again.”

TL;DR: Don't let someone else's New Year's revelation become your old year's anchor unless it truly feels right.

Rooting for your fresh start (whatever form it takes).

Dear Anna,

My husband and I both work from home and have fallen into a terrible rut. We're like roommates who occasionally kiss goodnight. We've promised each other that 2025 will be different, but neither of us knows where to start. How do we rekindle romance when we're together 24/7? — Stuck in Routine

Dear SIR,

First, let me validate that working from home together can make even the most passionate relationship feel like a never-ending Zoom meeting where someone occasionally asks what's for dinner. When your office is your living room and your coworker is your spouse, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" becomes "absence makes the heart ... wait, what's absence again?"

But here's the good news: You're both aware of the rut AND willing to change it. That's huge! Many couples sleepwalk through their relationship until they're practically in separate time zones while sharing the same couch.

Let's get practical with some romance CPR:

Create artificial distance: Yes, really! Just because you can share every moment doesn't mean you should. Designate different "work zones" in your home. Take separate lunch breaks sometimes. Go for solo walks. Missing each other, even for an hour, can work wonders.

Remember dating? Now’s the time to restart it. Schedule proper date nights — once a week if you can swing it, if not a couple times a month is great, too. Get dressed up sometimes — even if you're just going to the living room. Cook together, but make it special — try re-creating your first date meal, or go for novelty by taking an online cooking class together.

Here's your homework: Every day this week, do one thing that breaks the routine. Some ideas, in addition to the ones above:

—Leave secret notes in unexpected places.

—Create a silly awards ceremony for random accomplishments ("Most Creative Coffee Mug Selection").

—Have breakfast for dinner.

—If you both have a break at the same time, try a five minute make-out/cuddle/dance party.

Most importantly, create moments of genuine connection. Put down your phones. Look at each other. Share your hopes for 2025. Remember why you chose each other in the first place.

And hey, working from home together has one massive advantage — no commute means more time for morning coffees and … uh afternoon Zoom meetings of a different variety, as in “All I wanna do is zoom a zoom zoom zoom and a poom poom.”

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