ArcaMax

Dear Eric: I have two brothers that have recently failed to send a birthday gift or even a card to my 12-year-old daughter. My wife and I on the other hand always send birthday gifts or money and a card to their kids, our nieces and nephews.

My daughter took note of not getting a gift from them this past year in a sad kind of manner. She enjoys...Read more

Dear Eric: Several months ago, I saw a part-time position I wanted to apply for. I would also be able to keep a job I currently have if selected for the new position.

As part of the application process, I needed two references. I asked a current supervisor for one. I told her I would be able to keep working for her if chosen for the new ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and I have just returned from a driving trip in the Southwest. Several days ago, he was standing in a fast-food line when another man started a conversation with him. When the man asked, “where is home for you?” My husband responded by saying "Los Angeles.” The other man said, "I’m so sorry for you."

This is not ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and I have just returned from a driving trip in the Southwest. Several days ago, he was standing in a fast-food line when another man started a conversation with him. When the man asked, “where is home for you?” My husband responded by saying "Los Angeles.” The other man said, "I’m so sorry for you."

This is not ...Read more

Dear Eric: My friend has been totally engrossed with messaging celebrities through Telegram. So far, she has been in contact with four musicians. Two of the four have promised to come visit with her.

After the first celebrity visit fell through, I asked her repeatedly to block this contact. She vacillates between blocking and then unblocking ...Read more

Dear Eric: My sister-in-law is one of the kindest and most giving people I know. She volunteers at her church, at our local YMCA and at our golf club. She has driven friends several states away for medical treatments.

However, my brother/her husband of 30-plus years is not a social guy, and this irritates her to no end. She will complain to ...Read more

Dear Eric: When my mother passed away, her trust was split mostly between me and my sister, with a small percentage to my sister's two kids. My mother and my sister lived together. My mother put the down payment on their house, and they split the mortgage and utilities. My sister covered most of the mortgage.

I have always imagined gifting a ...Read more

Dear Eric: My son has recently started using some slang terms that have me scratching my head – namely “gyat,” “skibidi,” and “sigma.”

As a parent, I want to stay connected and understand the language of his world, but I feel a bit lost in translation. It seems like these words pop up in every conversation, and I can’t help but ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married for more than 50 years and we have recently retired. I was looking forward to the free time to do more of the things we had talked about doing together. We have always been friends as well as spouses.

But it seemed almost immediately that my husband made a bucket list and started doing things he ...Read more

Dear Eric: My son and my niece had been friends since childhood but had a falling out about a decade ago. She confessed to him that she was cheating on her husband and thinking of leaving him and their 6-year-old daughter. My son suggested she talk to a professional before making a rash decision. She then badmouthed him to everyone else in the ...Read more

Dear Eric: I frequently have gatherings at my house, most recently debate-watch parties. Close friends gather, have cocktails and eat snacks. This time, I decided to go for the cozy vibe and have a debate-watch pajama party. I just invited ladies.

Then a guy I dearly love asked if he could come. All the girls said they would be fine with this ...Read more

Dear Eric: Two years ago, a group of 11 women on my husband’s side, including his mother, sisters and aunts, went on a beach house girls’ trip. The group also included the daughters-in-law of his aunts. I was left out and wasn't even told about this trip until after they came back.

My husband was angrier about it than I was, but I asked him...Read more

Dear Eric: I am newly in love and engaged. My fiancé and I are both in our early 70s. Quite a few of my friends (not my close friends but others) have responded to the news with: how cute! Somehow the fact that we have fallen in love and plan to marry is "cute."

I find this infantilizing, as if we were small children playing dress-up. I ...Read more

Dear Readers: On Sept. 23, I published two letters from older adults struggling to find a connection (“Still Grieving” and “Wants a Connection”). I asked those of you who have successfully found friendship and romantic partnership at a later stage in life to write in.

I shared some of those great responses last Thursday and, as promised...Read more

Dear Eric: I have a friend I haven’t spoken to since her small wedding two years ago. I thought we were pretty close friends for 25 years. We shared our ups and downs.

Before her wedding, she told me that it was going to be a small ceremony with only about 30 friends and family. It would be at a restaurant. They planned on paying for ...Read more

Dear Eric: I’m 51 years old. I’ve been dating “John” for two and a half years now. After a year, he moved in to help with the mortgage. Most of the time he pays but if he misses a month and I ask about it, he gets angry which I find to be a very strange reaction.

If I ever get mad about something he turns around and gets mad at me and ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband doesn't live in the country in which he was born. Because of that, I've tried to connect with his family. We visited his family over the years and vice versa. He has a cousin who asked if we could stay in touch through the messaging app WhatsApp and her husband also requested to be included. Great!

Unfortunately, his wife ...Read more

Dear Eric: I’ve struggled with a mild autoimmune condition for the last three decades that would flare from time to time. Normal life is difficult during the flares, especially while raising a family and running a business with my husband. I did the best I could.

About five years ago, I got extremely sick, and it just got worse and worse. ...Read more

Dear Eric: A few years ago, I noticed a change in a close friend of more than four decades. She is beloved, kind, supportive and generous and has been a great friend over the decades. Yet, she has become more strident in her opinions, almost to the point of bullying.

She wasn’t always like this. Her husband and I are the main recipients of ...Read more

Dear Eric: I sing as a volunteer in a church choir. Because I can sight-sing, was trained as a musician, and can sing alto, the music director likes it when I come.

For me, singing is "work", not "fun" but the music director is very nice, and the choir members are very warm and kind people.

What I don't enjoy is that one of the newer members ...Read more