ArcaMax

Please understand that it is compassionate and appropriate to connect, even if you aren’t sure what to say, and even if you can’t offer a solution to a particular problem. So often, people choose to back away during challenging times. Don’t ghost your friend now.

Following is an inspiring “Update” from – Lost in London:

Dear Amy: You encouraged me to reach out and reminded me that in times of stress and grief, people tend to withdraw from others for fear of overreaching or embarrassment, or saying the wrong thing, when actually we need to step forward and be there for our friends and colleagues.

In that case I did reach out and met up with my mentor, “Daisy,” and we had a wonderful catch-up and continue our relationship.

But perhaps more importantly, your specific advice on that day, and in every other column you have published, echoes the same themes: steady, compassionate friendship; the importance self-care, self-love and boundary setting; and a recognition that sometimes things are outside of your power, and you need to learn to make peace with them.

Your words in your response to me, and those you’ve provided to so many others have guided my approach to the world, mainly that “you just show up.” That might be physically in helping a friend pack and move boxes while clearing out a parent’s home, or emotionally in giving a call to a friend you’ve been thinking about, extending an olive branch to an estranged family member, or showing up for yourself by removing toxic influences from your life.

Showing up, when compassion, empathy, love and support are the motivating factors is seldom the wrong response. And even when it is, at least you know you tried.

Dear Lost in London: You have beautifully summed up my overall point of view. Thank you!

Dear Amy: I am an average-attractive single woman who lives in a big city.

I am frequently approached by men of other races that flirt with me and try to get my phone number.

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