Ask Amy: Anti-social son-in-law taxes family’s patience
Dear Amy: I have a thoughtful, successful 38-year-old stepdaughter. We have a good relationship and enjoy each other’s company. I live abroad, so I only see her and her family once or twice a year.
The issue I am having is with her husband, my son-in-law.
He is completely anti-social and barely acknowledges my presence.
He has never initiated a conversation, and during family events he either absents himself or is present but playing video games on his phone.
I have learned not to take this personally because he treats everyone, including his own family, the same way.
Family members and friends have tried to understand his behavior: Is he “on the spectrum,” is it a cultural issue, (he is from a different country), or is he just rude?
A few friends and family members have discussed this with my stepdaughter, and she says, “It is just the way he is.”
I will be visiting them later this year and am already apprehensive.
While I am visiting, I find his behavior so unpleasant that I find excuses to retire early.
Is there another way for me to understand his behavior and make peace with it?
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