The value of setting healthy boundaries
The Pew survey found that nearly half of young adults turn to their parents for advice on finances, work, or relationships. They also continue to rely on their parents for financial and emotional support as they work toward independence. But, as the parent-child relationship evolves into adulthood, both parties may need to continually reevaluate their boundaries.
Zohar, when asked if she would rather have the greater autonomy that her parents' generation enjoyed as young adults, said she wouldn't want things to change.
"I have heard from my parents that they actually felt under-surveilled when they were my age," she said. "And I feel lucky that my parents care enough to check in and discuss the options of location tracking and how to be in touch and then respect me enough to listen to what I feel comfortable with."
Laurence Steinberg, professor of psychology and neuroscience at Temple University and author of numerous books on adolescence and young adulthood, including "You and Your Adult Child," said that location tracking can be useful as long as "both parents and child see this as a protective activity, rather than a suspicious one."
In other words, location tracking is no substitute for open, honest communication. "The basis of a strong parent-child relationship is trust," Steinberg said. "I certainly would not recommend that parents track their adult child's whereabouts secretively."
While much of the location tracking debate focuses on trust, Jay notes that the more pernicious effect is the potential to undermine confidence: "It communicates to your child that you don't believe in them to make good choices or to succeed without you."
Jay's favorite population is young adults, so she is thrilled her child is finally in this age group. "I enjoy receiving texts from my son about some new cool college thing he's doing or about some piece of advice he's seeking; finally, he's (somewhat) interested in what I have to say! That said, I let him drive the timing and frequency of our communications, and I have a strict (self-imposed) rule not to check his location—ever."
Story editing by Alizah Salario. Additional editing by Kelly Glass. Copy editing by Kristen Wegrzyn.
This story originally appeared on Tile and was produced and distributed in partnership with Stacker Studio.
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