A Skort Is a Skort, of Course, of Course
For many years, I was really bothered by the notion of a skort . It wasn't so much the actual combination of a skirt and shorts, because in concept, it was a pretty good idea, especially for tennis or when you might happen to be in a place with big wind gusts and such.
No, the problem I had was with the name, "skort."
It was right up there with spork (a spoon with fork tongs at the end). Here was another practical invention with a serious name problem ... certainly better than foon , though. Somehow skort and spork seemed like a crime against humanity. Or at least a crime against the dictionary.
Personally, I thought whoever came up with skort and spork should be tarred and feathered, or rather tarthered , for brevity's sake.
Anyway, I had just sort of, kind of gotten used to skorts when along came jorts -- jean shorts, particularly for men. I suppose the fashion industry thought more men would buy jean shorts if they had a cool name, but this was a major fail because:
1. Jorts isn't a cool name.
2. There isn't a guy on earth who would refer to his jean shorts as jorts.
Skirting the idea of skorts and jorts, I went to the department store to get a pair of jeans but could only find lots of pairs of jeggings . Jeggings, I was told by an obviously impatient young salesgirl in the jeans department, are a combination of jeans and leggings. Again, I didn't have a problem with the concept, just the name.
"They look like jeans, but they feel like leggings," she had insisted.
"Well, I look like 50, but I feel like 70," I'd said to her. "What does that make me?"
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