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The final dinner of winter vacation is funereal, death incarnate, the dissolution of rum ball-soaked peace.

It's even more fraught when a season of political mayhem looms. Let's slice into braised chicken and ignore the worst Sunday scaries known to man. Let's pass the salad and avoid reading about how Elon Musk moved into a Trump outbuilding in the manner of Kato Kaelin. The incoming president wants to buy Greenland? Let's have one more scoop of tzatziki and scream nonsense into a supermassive black hole.

Not to be dramatic, but my household had dinner Sunday. We shared resolutions. Mine ranged from rote to bucket list-y, from scheduling a mammogram to eating a block of cheese in a drafty Paris apartment. I had one more goal that's less tangible, more internal. There is no subscription app or organic glow serum to make this quest happen; however, I believe it could be a key to -- cue pageant stance -- world peace.

Listening.

I want to work on listening better, I declared over the depression chicken. To absorb what others are saying and process why they said it. Not listening to offer advice, dunk on an opinion or share an anecdote of the time I also went to Arenal Volcano, Costa Rica. Listening to listen.

Oh, this will be much harder than buying a new serum. For instance, nobody should sit silently while someone is openly racist, homophobic, abusive and/or denigrating the middle catalog of Lady Gaga. Active listening takes on different textures for neurodivergent people, too, which is another reason blanket pockets of advice don't work. In fact, if you struggle to absorb conversations, I would love to actively listen to the reasons. See how fun this is?

Exceptions aside, there are plentiful chances to shut up and make a genuine effort to better understand each other. This year will hold manifold opportunities to decline giving a take where no take is needed, to defer to experts and those with lived experience, to absorb information without vying to win a moral contest. To sacrifice being right for being... present?

I mean, have you ever gotten to the end of a conversation and realized you were making a shopping list for Winn-Dixie? It's the sensation of reading six paragraphs of a novel and not retaining a word. We can reread a book, but it's gauche to ask our new acquaintance, Tony, to repeat his story about serving in the Marines because we were tallying gumbo ingredients.

High-quality listening is full of benefits, according to studies, including combating loneliness and staving off work burnout. Harvard Business Review breaks down active listening into workable tips. Repeat people's words back to them ("So, you prefer Havarti to Swiss, Tony?"). Minimize distractions ("I'm sorry, Tony, let me turn off this video of a capybara farm"). Don't rehearse your response while the other person is talking.

Oof. In a soundbite culture with such activated nerve endings, this is the highest hurdle. Imagine a world in which Tony says he resonates with the music of Morgan Wallen. Imagine not immediately producing internet receipts of the singer's various transgressions followed by a list of replacement singers Tony might consider. As stated, some of this work will be impossible.

But I am curious to explore the power that comes with silence, and not just in a warm-huggy way. This year, I am ready to let people explain themselves. One last tip comes from the lawyer and writer Jefferson Fisher, who suggests that when people lodge an insult, make them repeat it. Take all the fun out of the bullying. Say, "What do you mean by that?" Imagine their fear. Bathe in it. This is revelatory.

World peace is a pageant dream, of course, but maybe embracing more thought and care will pop the balloon of this Roman arena we've created. Maybe listening to each other will force us to reach deeper intellectually, avoid speaking in brain rot and supply a burst of empathy this country desperately needs in the years ahead.

I don't know. What do you think?

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Stephanie Hayes is a columnist at the Tampa Bay Times in Florida. Follow her at @stephhayes on X or @stephrhayes on Instagram.

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