Kids Are Smarter Than Us, and Other Facts on Social Media Bans

Come, come into my awkward live chat. Let's discuss social media as moderators bounce the bots, incels and meatheads from the comments.

I am writing this guide as a columnist, which means I am allowed to have an opinion, much to the envy of my more formal news colleagues who must sit around holiday tables of ham and lamb cakes remarking, "Yeah, I can't really weigh in" through gritted teeth.

That means the following explainer will be a mix of reported fact and commentary. This is important to stipulate with media literacy on the decline, thanks, in part, to social media's smoothing influence. Recent evidence: the people ready to bet it all on a theory that Kate Middleton took time off to grow out regrettable bangs.

(SET BOLD) What happened? (END BOLD)

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on Monday signed a bill barring kids from social media. It's a lightened-up version of an earlier bill DeSantis vetoed.

It bans kids 13 and younger from creating accounts, requiring platforms to seek and destroy their profiles. Teens aged 14 and 15 would need parental consent to post selfies they will later regret, and so on. The bill also blocks minors from adult websites, requiring visitors to prove their age.

(SET BOLD) What, like how you say you're 21 on the Captain Morgan site? (END BOLD)

Aye, more complicated. The websites would have to use third-party age verification software, which could involve submitting government IDs or facial scans. This scenario has played out in Texas, where PornHub suspended service to the state on the heels of an age-verification law. Not that anyone in Texas, or Florida, has any interest in that enterprise, nope, moving along.

(SET BOLD) Which websites or apps? (END BOLD)

Wouldn't you like to know. The bill does not name names but applies to platforms with 10% of users younger than 16 using them at least two hours per day. The sites must also have "addictive features" such as infinite scrolling, push notifications and videos of French bulldogs running around pool decks.

(SET BOLD) Is this OK? (END BOLD)

Well, it's tricky. I can really see both sides, she said through gritted teeth. Most reasonable people want to protect kids from the darker elements of the internet, but the question is whether that task should fall to parents or the law. It's hard to miss the fact that this bill is akin to co-parenting with the government. That's a phrase you may have heard before -- when it is convenient for the folks using it. Ahem.

(SET BOLD) Will this law be challenged in court? (END BOLD)

Undoubtedly. Free-speech groups have condemned the bill as going too far. Like other states that have tried to limit youth social media use, Florida expects a legal challenge from a trade association of digital companies including Meta, TikTok and X. That's like the Avengers, but wan and dehydrated.

(SET BOLD) Why won't this work in a practical sense? (END BOLD)

This is simple. Children are born knowing more about electronics than their parents. Each new model of humans is released into this world with a working knowledge of processes and products that haven't been invented yet. This is why you can hand a toddler an iPad, turn your back for 10 seconds, and they've reprogrammed the thermostat.

What I'm saying is: By the time the kinks of this legislation get worked out, kids will have invented an app that not one adult has heard of. They will disseminate news of the app via a series of secret hand signals and constellations of color-coded acne stickers in school hallways on Guy Fawkes Day.

(SET BOLD) Is social media bad? (END BOLD)

Oh, yes. Did you know that before the dawn of social media, you could break up with someone and never see them or their new partner again unless you ran into them in a slow-motion movie scene outside a closing subway door? Now, unless you move off-grid to a survivalist compound, every person stays in your life forever. It's twisted, folks.

Hm? Oh, right, teens. Well, they need to know. Anyway, I can see both sides. Some experts have connected social media to mental health problems and a rise in depression and suicide. Research, though, doesn't necessarily support a clean cause and effect; some professionals point to societal issues that don't exist in an online vacuum.

For their part, teens testified about the good bits of social, like talking to friends, learning, running businesses. They have elegantly conveyed their points because, to reiterate, kids are smarter than us. Got it? Good. Now, can one of them come help me take a screen grab of a video?

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Stephanie Hayes is a columnist at the Tampa Bay Times in Florida. Follow her at @stephhayes on Twitter or @stephrhayes on Instagram.

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