Things That Needed to Be Said
Published in Jokes
On going to war over religion: "You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend." -- Rich Jeni
"I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms." -- Gary Valentine
On the difference between men and women: "On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars." -- Jeff Green
"And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers. So people don't blame everything on Satan.'" -- John Wing
"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'" -- Francois Morency
"The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'" -- Rich Jeni
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