Driving Rules

on Jul 22, 2008

Published in Jokes

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- A right-lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same drivers to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.

- Turn signals will give away your next move. A real driver never uses them.

- Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

- Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered 'going with the flow.'

- The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.

- Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.

- Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.