Two guys were discussing life in general over drinks one night.

"My grandfather lived to be 96."

"Ninety-six? What finally got him?"

"Liquor and women."

"Well, that just goes to show ya," snickered the one guy, "both ...Read More

Mom goes to son's room to wake him up. "Okay, son, time to wake up! Time for school!"

Son, in a surly mood says, "I don't want to go to school!"

Mother insists, "You must, son, now come on!"

Son replies, "I don't want ...Read More

A guy walks into a dentist's office and flops right down on the couch.

"Doc", he says, "Here's the problem. I think I'm a moth"

"Well", says the doctor, "That certainly is a problem, but why did you come into a dentist's...Read More

A man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, "Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you -- we've looked at your life, and you really didn't do anything particularly ...Read More

"Is this a bad idea? The folks at Sprint announced it is developing a TV cell phone. It will let you watch TV on your cell phone. They have the perfect name for it: 'Nine Dead in Interstate Pileup.'" --Jay Leno

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... continued from above

A few cards short of a deck.

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few feathers short of a whole duck.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

A few of sheep short of an orgy.

A few peas short of a ...Read More