Squirrel lunges at a juvenile groundhog while a crow watches on.

... continued from above

4. Caught hocking phlegm into tykes' hands and telling them it was "homemade Gack."

3. Your sales display, "Barbie's Struggle for Survival in Post-Nuclear Holocaust Malibu" was not exactly an ...Read More

... continued from above

12. Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Carl The Stockboy" display.

11. You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer.

10. ...Read More

* All great discoveries are made by mistake.

* Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

* Nothing ever gets ...Read More

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.

"He ...Read More

The lil' Columbia, Maryland Yuppette was shopping in an upscale pet center. "I want a dog of which I can be proud," she told the salesman. "Does that one have a good pedigree?"

"Miss," declared the clerk, "if she could ...Read More