The programmer's wife tells him: "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

An Irishman goes to a building site for his first day of work, and a couple of Englishmen think, "Ah, we'll have some fun with him!" So they walk up and say, "Hey, Paddy, as you're new here make sure you know a joist from ...Read More

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes.

In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.

"No sense pulling up the ...Read More

Some people ask the secret of Anthony's long marriage.

They take time to go to a restaurant two times a week: a little candlelight dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home.

The Mrs. goes Tuesdays; He goes Fridays.

Beck talks to Guest Host Martin Short and Selena Gomez about the first time he met Marty, deciding to be a folk singer during the worst time to be a folk singer, using a leaf blower on stage to get the attention of the ...Read More