Humor

/

Entertainment

One-liners

on

Published in Jokes

The first Ten Commandments are the hardest.

People who are wrapped up in themselves are overdressed.

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

A word of advice...don't give it.

If we made it illegal, do you think more people would vote?

I am logged in...therefore, I am.

A journey of a hundred miles starts with an argument over how to load the car.

Justice is blind and in some cases...deaf and dumb.

To belittle is to be little.

 

When fear knocks at the door, and you answer, there will be no one there.

Poverty is a condition with but one advantage, it doesn't take much to improve your lot.

The first rule of tinkering is to save all the parts.

I'm retiring in Mexico. Sunny, affordable and no predatory reverse mortgages.

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.

Management's job is to keep 'em too busy to look for other jobs.

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

Why are lawyers not sworn to tell the truth like all the witnesses in a jury trial?


 

Comments

blog comments powered by Disqus

 

Related Channels

Jase Graves

Jase Graves

By Jase Graves
Stephanie Hayes

Stephanie Hayes

By Stephanie Hayes
Tracy Beckerman

Tracy Beckerman

By Tracy Beckerman

Comics

Rhymes with Orange Pardon My Planet Mike Du Jour Pat Bagley Pickles Poorly Drawn Lines