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Truisms

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- Always give 100% at work - 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday

- For Sale - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.

- One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.

- Failure is not an option! It comes bundled with the software.

- I want to die while asleep like my Grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

 

- West Virginia ..... Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names.

- What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

- Can you yell "MOVIE!" in a crowded firestation?


 

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