-- Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.

-- Digital speedometer on helm console stuck at "88".

-- Shields fail to work on alternate Fridays.

-- Rust problem in engineering causes support failure: one corner of warp coil now help up by phone book.

-- Computer fails to process any instruction beginning with "w".

-- Booster cables become permanent fixtures in transporter room.

-- Captain's chair must be propped up against screen to keep image from flickering.

-- Guinan stops wearing large, heavy hats for fear of falling through squeaky part of floor in 10-forward.

-- Main sensor array unable to pick up anything except CBS.

-- Lower part of bridge falls even lower and ramps along either side become too steep for crew to climb.

-- Turbolift cannot climb past deck 5 when there are more than 2 people on board.

-- Holodeck becomes caught in an infinite loop: ship is overcome by ten thousand care bears.

-- Ship cannot enter warp while food dispenser is making Kraft macaroni and cheese.

-- Food dispenser in 10-forward will only serve light beer.

-- Bug in main computer speech processor: computer voice will either stutter or talk like Barbara Walters.

-- Untraceable glitch in plumbing periodically replaces water in Wesley's shower with frozen concentrated orange juice.

-- Ship's dryer indiscriminately shreds crew's uniforms, and related problem in fabrication machinery will only produce new clothing with Roger Rabbit caricature prominently displayed.

-- Computer refuses to carry out commands unless captain says "Pretty please with sugar on it".

-- Replacement parts for automatic door to captain's ready room are exhausted and door must be replaced with bead curtains.

-- Saucer section separates whenever ship makes left turn.