Menicillin - Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"

Buyagra - Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. ...Read More

I'm getting a little tired of steak on the grill. How about a nice quiche?

You know, I think I'd really prefer the four-door sedan to that impractical Corvette.

Golly I think we're lost. Let me find a gas station to ask ...Read More

While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop."

Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," ...Read More

A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River.

"That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could ...Read More

From a contractor:

"Whoever worked on this before sure knew what he was doing."
"I think I came in a little high on that estimate."

From my dentist:

"I think you're flossing too much."
"I won't ask you ...Read More

If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.

If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is ...Read More