- Always give 100% at work - 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday

- For Sale - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.

- One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day...Read More

"I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!"

"Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."

"Can we ...Read More

I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.

I got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it.

"At 50 cents a call, I've been making $38...Read More

Don talks about Trump being inaugurated on MLK Day, evacuating during the fires, having to tell Anthony Anderson that he needs to evacuate, his new wrestling movie Unstoppable, and Jimmy shows an amazing old clip of Don ...Read More

Actor Stephanie Hsu sits down with Ronny Chieng to discuss her new Peacock series, “Laid.” She shares how Ali Wong’s advice pushed her to sign on for the dark rom-com, getting her big break in the “SpongeBob ...Read More

Steve Martin's first major television appearance on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour in 1968.

The Smothers Brothers

The Smothers Brothers, Tom and Dick, are one of the most iconic comedy duos in the history of ...Read More