Dad called upstairs to his daughter when her boyfriend came to pick her up, "Dreamboat...your barnacle is here!"

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"Everybody keeps saying that women are smarter than men, but did you ever see a man wearing a shirt ...Read More

Dec. 31
Edward,
I thought I said NO MORE BIRDS. This morning I woke up to find no more than seven swans, all trying to get into our tiny goldfish pond. I'd rather not think what's happened to the goldfish. The ...Read More

Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."

Leave out a copy of your Christmas ...Read More

Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that made them claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, ...Read More

How do fireflies start a race?
Ready steady glow!

If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player?
The one in the sugar bowl!

How do you keep flies out of the ...Read More

"Don't make the same mistake twice seems to indicate three mistakes, doesn't it?

First you make the mistake. Then you make the same mistake. Then you make the same mistake twice.

If you simply say, 'Don't make the ...Read More