Humor

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Entertainment

Golf Natural

Humor / Jokes /

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.

Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.

The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."

The novice teed up and smacked the ball straight down the ...Read more

Norwegian in Fargo

Humor / Jokes /

A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner.

"Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?"

"Ja, dat sounds purty good," said the Norwegian.

The ...Read more

Extremely Sad

Humor / Jokes /

There was once a hillbilly who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat back and thought about it.

Suddenly he thought - "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am a hillbilly and ...Read more

Another Definition of Marriage

Humor / Jokes /

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

The Beer Prayer

Humor / Jokes /

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hollowed be thy drink.
I will be drunk,
At home as in the travern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangerovers.
For thine is ...Read more

"Conan O'Brien and The Osbournes" 2002 Emmy Awards Cold Open

Humor / Jokes /

Original Air Date: September 22, 2002. Courtesy of the Television Academy

Ricky Gervais & Ozzy Osbourne Ask To Leave To Use The Bathroom | The Graham Norton Show

Humor / Jokes /

Ricky Gervais is back this week! Alongside him are Cate Blanchett, Ant & Dec and Elvis Costello & The Imposters!

Rachel Brosnahan Delivers 60 Seconds of Joan Jokes | Joan Rivers: A Dead Funny All-Star Tribute

Humor / Jokes /

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel star Rachel Brosnahan delivers a minute of Joan's jokes.

Georgia Engel Politely Roasts Everyone l Dean Martin Roasts

Humor / Jokes /

Georgia Engel kindly, gently, viciously roasts the dias at the Evel Knievel roast.

Gang Databases: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

Humor / Jokes /

John Oliver discusses the massive problems caused by gang databases, how people wind up on them, and why nobody looks good in lime green. You might think you’re pulling it off but trust us, you’re not.

Whose Line - The Tarzan Comment

Humor / Jokes /

One of the funniest moments on the CW version of "Whose Line"

Thrill of the Chase

Humor / Jokes /

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Wife Wanted

Humor / Jokes /

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

Next day he received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Better Relationship

Humor / Jokes /

A man walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."

"What's the problem?" the docotor inquired.

"Well, I'm 35 years old and I still have no luck with the ladies. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."

"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need ...Read more

A Fresh Appeal

Humor / Jokes /

Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."

Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"

Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."

Graphing

Humor / Jokes /

A student at our high school a few years back, having had his fill with drawing graph after graph in senior high math class, told his teacher, "I'll do algebra, I'll do trig, and I'll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!"

Undeniable Adult Truths pt. 3

Humor / Jokes /

... continued from above

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as ...Read more

Undeniable Adult Truths pt. 2

Humor / Jokes /

... continued from above

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You ...Read more

Romantic Text pt. 2

Humor / Jokes /

... continued from above

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."

The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."

Skeleton

Humor / Jokes /

I was helping a buddy of mine, who was an orthopedic surgeon, move to his new office, and using my car to help transport some of his office equipment.

I had decided to position his somewhat fragile display skeleton strapped into the back seat of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat...

At one traffic light, the stares of the ...Read more

 

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