ArcaMax

While it's nothing to brag about, I am a miserable linguist. I got into the University of Washington, which required two years of a foreign language, thanks to an intensive summer French class at a local community college.

It was probably the worst month of my life. The eight ways the French pronounce "uh" pretty much broke my spirit. But I struggle on, being the travel guy who basically speaks only English.

If I spoke other languages, I undoubtedly would enjoy a deeper understanding of the people and cultures I visit. Still, I manage just fine hurdling the language barrier when it comes to researching and writing guidebooks, leading tours, producing TV shows, and simply enjoying Europe.

Of course, English speakers can afford to be lazy, because English is the world's linguistic common denominator. When a Greek meets a Norwegian, they speak English. (What Greek speaks Norwegian?)

Imagine if each of our 50 states spoke its own language. That's close to the European situation, but they've done a great job of minimizing communication problems. Most information that a traveler must understand -- such as road signs, menus, telephone instructions, and safety warnings -- is presented either in English or in universal symbols.

And rest assured that any place trying to separate tourists from their money will always find a way to explain how to spend it.

But while English may be Europe's lingua franca, that doesn't mean everyone you encounter will be fluent -- and not everyone will understand American English. Europeans are more accustomed to Brits, who use words like "holiday" (not vacation), "torch" (not flashlight), and "petrol" (not gas). If you say "restroom" or "bathroom," you'll get no relief. "Toilet" is direct, simple, and internationally recognized.

My advice, if you want to be understood, is to keep your messages grunt-simple. I talk like a Dick-and-Jane primer, choosing easy words and clearly pronouncing each syllable (po-ta-to chips).

A single noun often can do the work of an entire sentence. If my car is broken in Portugal, I don't say, "Excuse me, my car is broken." I point to the vehicle and say, "Auto kaput." A one-word question ("Photo?") is more effective than something more grammatically correct ("May I take your picture, sir?").

Even with no real language in common, you can have some fun communicating. It's OK to look goofy -- use dynamic hand and facial expressions. Consider this profound conversation I had with a cobbler in Sicily:

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(c)2016 RICK STEVES DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.