A 4-year-old boy informed his preschool teacher—a friend of mine—that he’d broken his iPad.
“Oh!” my friend said. “What a shame. Did you drop it?”
“No,” the boy said, very matter-of-factly. “I got mad that my mom wanted me to share it with my sister, so I slammed it on the table and it broke.”
His next sentence: “Now ...Read more
Question: We would like to limit our 16-year-old son’s video game and cell phone time. We think homework should come first and then free time. He wants to relax with his video game and phone after school which frequently results in homework not being done before he must attend a two-hour team practice at 7:00 pm. That means he’s not ...Read more
Question: Our 3-year-old son is very sweet, loving, and generally well-behaved. Occasionally, however, he breaks into a huge tantrum during which he becomes uncontrollable. The word "possessed" comes to mind. He will suddenly snap from being sweet to being a demon and then back to being sweet and loving again. These tantrums don't occur ...Read more
A journalist asks, "Why do today's parents seem to be having so many more parenting difficulties than did parents of previous generations?"
There is more than one answer to the question; or, there is one answer with a number of aspects. One of the primary features of parenting back then—"then" being before the psychological ...Read more
Question: My ex-husband and I have pretty much fifty-fifty custody of our 15-year-old son, who has become infected with his father’s disrespect for me. When he’s with me, he makes it very clear that he does not want to be here. He refuses to do anything I tell him to do or accept any attempt at discipline from me, curses at me, and ...Read more
I ended a recent column by proposing that “while their proper upbringing is a big deal, children themselves are not.”
As I figured would happen, I’ve received some complaints from folks who insist that children are definitely a big deal. Invariably, however, they go on to defend what is already established: the raising of children is a ...Read more
Q: Our daughter died last year—long, sad story—leaving behind a 2-year-old boy. The father—not named on the birth certificate—is not and never has been a factor in the child’s life and gave us permission to adopt without any conditions. He simply has zero interest. We did not anticipate becoming parents again, but “...Read more
Question: My 7-year-old recently had his 9-year-old friend over to spend the night. At their request, I let them take a bubble bath together. I supervised, of course. They had fun squirting one another with water pistols, throwing bubbles at one another, and pretending to swim. They were having so much fun I took a photo. Later, I showed ...Read more
Murray the Moose Finds His MotherKelly Tovsen
The author uses Alaskan animals to relate to some of the trials children sometimes experience while growing up. In each story, the animal uses their own natural abilities to triumph over a particular fear or problem. Find out how Murray overcomes his fear of being separated ...
According to Wikipedia, a meme is "an idea…that spreads from person to person within a culture". A meme is analogous to a mental virus—although not necessarily bad—that “catches on” relatively quickly and usually with significant influence on popular behavior. Most memes are unspoken, subconscious. The concept was popularized by ...Read more
This is the third and final installment of my “Wrong Things Experts Have Said (and Still Say)” series. Thus far: I’ve debunked the myth that a consequence must be delivered immediately in order for a child to make the misbehavior-consequence connection; exposed the detrimental nature of high self-esteem; laid bare the falsehood that ...Read more
This is the second installment of my three-part series on wrong ideas disseminated by so-called parenting experts. All three columns will be posted to johnrosemond.com.
The laundry list includes the core belief of what I call Postmodern Psychological Parenting: the idea that it is good for one to hold a high opinion of one’s self—...Read more
The subject of today’s lesson is so-called experts who don’t know what they’re talking about.
As the reader might already have guessed, the so-called experts in question are known as parenting experts. Most people of this ilk have credentials in various fields of mental health. So do I. In my case, the field is psychology, which I happen ...Read more
A recent caller to my syndicated radio show (Saturdays, 6 pm EST, American Family Radio) objected to advice I dispensed concerning a teenage girl who was exhibiting a number of narcissistic and even sociopathic behaviors, including lying and the abuse of animals.
The caller—a young lady in her 20s—pointed out that the girl’s behavior ...Read more
Question: My just-turned 3-year-old daughter has started biting other children in her preschool program. I put her in for three mornings a week thinking she could benefit from a group social experience, but it seems to be backfiring. She bites some other child—the same one, usually—almost every day. When it happens, her teacher ...Read more
In the 1960s, as part of an overall, culture-wide paradigm shift, a sea-change took place concerning our collective understandings concerning the rearing of children. The two fundamental questions in that regard are and have always been: (1) What is the nature of a child? and (2) What constitute parent responsibilities toward a child? In the ...Read more
It’s the little things that count…always
That’s true when it comes to being a citizen, an employee, and a spouse. It’s also true of being a parent.
In each case, the little things add up to a Big Thing…always.
And the Big Thing is either going to benefit everyone or the Big Thing is going to be to everyone’s detriment.
One of the...Read more
A composite of recent questions posed to me by journalists, along with my answers:
Q: What is the biggest problem in American parenting?
A: The marriage not lasting much past the birth of the first child. The two people, husband and wife, continue to live together but their marriage slowly fades away and is replaced by a ...Read more
A mother who attended a recent presentation during which I described the differences between high self-esteem and humility writes asking “What should my husband and I be doing to help our children develop humble hearts?”
Before I answer her question, I need to point out two things: First, humility was the cultural ideal up until the late ...Read more