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Faux 'bridesmaids' can't afford the honor

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I have a longtime friend who has asked our circle of five women to be "bridesmaids" for her wedding photos.

She has been married to her (second) husband for years. They own a beautiful home and have two children. She had a lavish first wedding and opted for a small second wedding, to which none of us were invited. She comes from a wealthy family and her parents are buying her a new wedding dress and paying for the photographer.

She wants to do this as a 40th birthday present to herself. She asked her bridesmaids to drive to her parents' ranch (a three-hour drive each way) for a vow renewal. Our children and spouses were invited. She has chosen a bridesmaids dress that costs $100. She says she wants to get "perfect photos."

We were just informed that it is no longer a vow renewal because it was too much effort, so the weekend will include no spouses or children, except for her own.

This is now a hardship. A couple of us are single moms who would have to arrange for weekend child care and are stressed out about the cost and time commitment. We all work long hours. We can't afford her "asks" for her fake wedding photos, but don't want to let her down.

Would it be unreasonable to ask her to be flexible on the dress or to choose a closer setting for the photos?

 

-- Put Upon

Dear Put Upon: First, a clarification: You and your friends are not "bridesmaids." There is no ceremony, no celebration and no bride and groom.

You are props.

She dangled an event in front of you, which never materialized, and that event is what you all agreed to.

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