Friend wants to deliver elder assessment
Dear Amy: When my late father was ill, I always appreciated hearing comments from friends who visited Dad, since I didn't live with him.
It helped me adjust the level of care and change what I did for him.
I've had two occasions where I have noticed some concerning things about the parents of two of my friends. I shared my observations with these friends, and both did not receive it very well.
Mostly they were shocked to find out their parents were exhibiting odd behavior or had such strong dementia they could be a driving hazard.
I truly felt that I was helping the greater good by mentioning to their families what I had noticed, or been told, or experienced.
I think something had to be said.
I was kind and factual.
One friend has completely stopped speaking to me, and the second one decidedly cooled our long friendship.
In the future, I honestly don't know what to do.
-- Concerned in CA
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