High school friends face boyfriend tension
Dear Amy: My best friend and I are high school seniors and I strongly dislike her boyfriend.
He treats her horribly, tells her "no promises" about cheating on her when they're arguing, entertains other girls and doesn't shut it down and then makes jokes about it. Recently she asked who the girl he was texting was, and he said, "Oh, I don't know. I have three."
When I told him he's made her cry, he bragged to his friend about how cool that is.
She doesn't open up to him because she says he doesn't care. They fight over the same things over and over. She knows she should leave, but she can't imagine her life without him and she wants more time with him.
She used to tell me that since he doesn't cheat on her it's fine, but now she says things like she doesn't know if he's cheating or not. At this point, I don't think she'd leave him even if he did cheat.
She puts up with this and I don't know if it's because she does love him or if it's because he's her first boyfriend. No matter what I do I can't make her see that he's not good for her and she deserves so much more. She doesn't believe that there's someone out there who's going to show her what she's been missing.
I hate watching her hurt herself. I get so angry over this, I've even cried because she was crying over him.
Do I stay out of it or do I help her? Nothing I say or do changes her mind. How can I be a better friend and help her out?
-- Sad Best Friend
Dear Sad: According to the very helpful website Loveisrespect.org, 1 in 3 teens report being in a toxic or abusive dating relationship. Based on what you say, I would put your friend in this category.
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