Elderly mother is stressed by Sis' calls
Dear Amy: My mom is nearly 90 and is in great health.
She is living with my husband and me -- and we all get along well in our small home.
My older sister had been taking care of her but called nearly two years ago and proclaimed that Mom had to move in with us, as she could take NO responsibility for her because she had her own life to live.
Big Sis moved across the country to be with a man she met online -- one in a long line of "soul mates."
She now hates this man, but is scared to leave due to ruined credit, no job and nowhere to go.
She calls Mom daily with tales of how awful her partner is, but how she can't leave.
All of her friends and her counselor have advised her on ways to exit, but she seems to prefer to stay and whine about her life. I understand it is scary to start over.
These calls are very stressful for Mom; and when she is stressed I am stressed, as stress for her often leads to illness.
Should ask Sis not to call, or if she does call, to just pretend everything is fine? Mom's radar regarding her children is legendary and she would then worry about why Sis is no longer talking about her miserable life.
Is there a middle ground?
...continued
