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Romantic complications

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

DEAR READERS: I have stepped away from my daily column for two weeks to finish writing my next book, which is due to be published next fall. I hope you'll enjoy these topical "best of" questions and answers while I'm away. Today's letters explore the subject of romantic complication.

DEAR AMY: I am in an ethical quandary. Three of my friends -- call them "Trish, Bill and Janet" -- have become embroiled in a romantic situation that has me perplexed over what I should do.

Trish and Bill had been going out for about nine months when they befriended Janet. Janet is very lively and personable, and she rapidly became very close to both Trish and Bill. Bill gradually began spending more time with Janet and less with Trish, and about six months after meeting Janet, he broke up with Trish.

Two weeks after that, Bill and Janet became romantically involved.

The obvious implication is that Janet betrayed Trish, that she used her friendship to get close to Bill and steal him away, but the reality may not be so black and white.

Anyway, I'm closest with Trish, and she is very hurt.

 

How should I relate to Janet now? I don't want to be judgmental, but if I remain friends with her, I feel disloyal to Trish.

What should I do? -- Confused in Connecticut

DEAR CONFUSED: In the old days, people could be cordial without having to disclose their every opinion, feeling and reaction. A person could be friendly without being intimate friends.

Let's bring those days back.

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