ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I love your column and how you relate your own experience in your answers.

My question is one I have not seen particularly addressed.

I am a 58-year-old gay man and have identified as bi for most of my adulthood.

I have had significant relationships with both women and men.

After my last relationship, more than 15 years ago, I ...Read more

Dear Amy: My good college friend “Clara” is getting married next month.

Clara has several bridesmaids. We are all quite close.

“Sara,” another bridesmaid, has an older sister “Anne” and a younger brother, “Brett.”

In our college days, Clara, Sara, and I would socialize occasionally with Anne. We consider her a friend.

Brett ...Read more

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We both have adult children from previous marriages.

My husband isn’t as close with his children as I am with mine. My children and I have always spent a lot of time together and we connect through text or phone calls almost daily.

My husband believes this is excessive. He doesn’t ...Read more

Dear Amy: “Liz” and I worked together for a short time nearly 20 years ago. She was excellent at her work and was an officer in a national organization in our field.

We have not seen one another in years. We’ve spoken on the phone one time in the last six years.

A decade ago, I spoke with an old colleague and recommended her to work at a...Read more

Dear Amy: I live four hours from my elderly widowed mother. I will be in her area for a week very soon doing some work, and I plan to take her for brunch on the Sunday that I am there. She does not drive. Making the arrangements, she managed to slide in, "I thought you might like to go to church with me." Meaning: "I want you to take me to ...Read more

Dear Amy: I live four hours from my elderly widowed mother. I will be in her area for a week very soon doing some work, and I plan to take her for brunch on the Sunday that I am there. She does not drive. Making the arrangements, she managed to slide in, "I thought you might like to go to church with me." Meaning: "I want you to take me to ...Read more

Dear Amy: I am the “maid of honor” for my best friend’s wedding, which is happening this summer.

It’s a big job and I have done my very best to step up in all of the expected ways. Like other people who have faced this demanding role, it can strain a friendship – but my friendship with “Chloe” (the bride) has survived just fine.

...Read more

Dear Amy: We are having an issue with our daughter and son-in-law regarding the use of a guesthouse. They live a day’s drive from us, so when we visit we like to stay for several days. We try to visit at least monthly.

We decided to find a home that had a mother-in-law unit separate from the main house.

We helped (substantially) in the ...Read more

Dear Amy: My two sons are not speaking to one another, after a fight that occurred during Christmas two years ago.

The result is that my granddaughters don’t like their uncle and aunt. The three girls are 11, 9, and 6.

While sleeping overnight at my house last weekend, I told my granddaughters that I love both of my sons equally. They ...Read more

Dear Amy: My husband and I have a very sweet 8-year-old son. His dad and I adore him. We’re having a great time going through life together.

Recently he has been emotional and sensitive. He has said several times that he doesn’t want to grow up. When I ask him why, he says he’ll miss all of the things we do together, like reading together...Read more

Dear Amy: I have a recurring issue when going out with my girlfriend's brother.

Every time we plan to go out with him and his wife, the outings revolve around their children.

As a happily childfree man in his 40s, I have no desire to spend my Saturday watching kids play in a crowded play space.

I have suggested activities that are child-...Read more

Dear Amy: Several years ago, my father and his wife visited me for a week.

I spared no expense trying to ensure that they enjoyed themselves, particularly his wife. (She married him after I was grown. My own mother died when I was five.)

The week was full of shopping, casino time, outdoor activities, and sightseeing.

I thought it went great. ...Read more

Dear Amy: I moved to a semi-rural area for a public-facing job.

One way I am trying to meet people is by hosting small dinner gatherings where I invite a group of people whom I think might make for interesting conversation. These people may or may not already know each other.

This almost never works out. I've had people ask if I will invite ...Read more

Dear Amy: My friend’s cat has been missing for two weeks.

I have been supportive in helping her try to find the cat. I also feel her pain.

I have always had cats, but since losing a cat 30 years ago, I have always kept my cats indoors.

My friend lives in a canyon with lots of wildlife, including coyotes, mountain lions, owls, and other ...Read more

Dear Amy: Most mornings I walk by myself on a forested walking trail.

Like most women, I keep a special eye out for my safety (regularly checking over my shoulder).

(For context, I’m a fairly attractive 33-year-old, or so I’ve been told.)

Recently, one man (aged in his late 40’s) has starting appearing on my walks. At first he seemed OK...Read more

Dear Amy: I recently met a nice older man online.

After a few emails and phone calls, “Rob” and I went on several dates.

Despite the difference in our ages (I'm 30, and he's closer to 60), we have many common interests and enjoy spending time together.

Romantically, he is quite shy. So far, just hand holding on walks and a goodnight kiss...Read more

Dear Amy: My stepson and his wife and 3-year-old daughter live in Hawaii.

My wife and I are on the West Coast.

We visit them several times a year, and they visit over the Christmas holidays when they can.

The times we spend together are always warm and drama-free.

We're on good terms, and I adore them.

My one issue is our daughter-in-law. ...Read more

Dear Amy: My wife and I have a difference of opinion regarding our 20-year-old daughter. We would love your perspective.

Our daughter is a sophomore at a university in Europe, and has recently started dating another sophomore (male) student.

When she comes home for the summer, he plans to visit.

In conversations with my wife, I have indicated...Read more

Dear Amy: My boyfriend of 10 years (with a few breaks) does not have a close relationship with his parents and really no relationship at all with his two siblings.

Little things have happened through the years that have upset people, and no one ever communicates or makes up with each other.

He also doesn't have good relationships with his ...Read more

Dear Amy: I married my high school sweetheart. We’ve been together for 50 years.

We had a great sexual relationship until five years ago.

My husband has a serious drinking problem which I have tolerated for decades. He has called me nasty and vulgar names, and now does nothing but watch TV and drink. When my father died last year, he didn’...Read more